Understanding A Conflict With My Sister Essay

Understanding A Conflict With My Sister Essay

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Background

The conflict I chose to analyze a conflict with my sister that also involved my brother. Basically, every Tuesday and Thursday morning my sister has class at 8 am at Concordia, so we share a car and leave at 7 am. My brother leaves for high school at around 7:10 am. For the whole semester, my sister and I have been getting late almost every Tuesday and Thursday. Since the beginning of the semester, we have made a plan that my sister wakes up the earliest, my brother wakes up at 6 am, and I wake up at 6:30 am. However, every time, my brother fails to wake up, so my sister wakes him up at 6:20 am. This causes me to be late because I have to wait for him to get out of the shower.

Onset of Conflict

On Thursday morning (April 21st), the same thing happened and my sister got really, really mad right before we were leaving. I automatically recognized that she was flooding because she had a flushed face, she was yelling, her sentences didn’t make sense, and she kept clenching her jaws (Medea, 2004: 24). I kept really calm at first and didn’t say anything. After a while, she was less flushed and was starting to argue and claiming that it was my fault we were always late. When she said that, I got really mad and upset because it wasn’t my fault my brother was occupying the bathroom when I had to get ready. My instinct was instantly to strike back to show that two can play at the same game. However, I remembered what I read in Getting Past No- that this strategy is futile (Ury, 1993: 50). Also, I remembered the phrase "Don’t get mad, don’t get even, get what you want." In this situation, I could not control my sister 's behavior, but I had to control my own. This was about the time we were walking out the door and getting into ...


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... tactics wisely as they did have a certain degree of effectiveness in each case. Using an interest based approach turned out to be extremely useful and effective as it solved the conflict between my sister and I that had been going on for so long. I did not expect it to be that easy to use and resolve our conflict. I hope this method solves our future conflicts and helps us maintain a close relationship. Using the NVC model with my brother was not as effective as using the interest based approach with my sister but it did have its benefits. If I were to go through this conflict again, I would have used the same strategies. I was really happy with the outcome of the conflict and I am even more happy about the fact that in the future I will be able to use it again. Hopefully my brother and sister start using these strategies too in order to sustain loving relationships.

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