A Humorous and Heartfelt Wedding Speech Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I would like to start by thanking Frank on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind comments and echo the fact that they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. In fact, just before the service I overheard a furious sisterly argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. Understandable, I thought - until I got
Humorous Best Man Speech Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank the groom for his kind words, and may I also say that they have done a fantastic job today and all of them look absolutely beautiful. I'd also like to say that the bride looks absolutely stunning today as I’m sure you will all agree. Unfortunately for the wedding photographs, the groom just looks stunned. When I was asked to be best man I consulted the Internet for
Humorous Best Man Speech The hotel management have asked me to ask you not to stand on the tables or chairs during the standing ovation at the end of my speech. Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last, and the general response was about as long as it takes the groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience. (Sit and then get back up) I think an introduction is worthwhile. For those of you who do not yet know me my name
Beth the Pig Once-upon-a-time, there was a farmer named Phildo, who owned a pig. The pig's name was Beth, and she weighed about twelve hundred pounds. Phildo was very proud of her. Everywhere he went Beth was right there behind him. People passing him along the sidewalk would say good morning and comment on how hippo-like Beth. Phildo would smile and raise his hat good morning. By the time of the spring fair, she weighed in at slightly over one thousand, five hundred pounds. When word spread that
A Humorous Distillation of Antigone by Maurice Sagoff This poem is quite successful in getting the plot across to the reader. Unfortunatly, that is all he can get across because of his beleif that, "inside every fat book is a skinny book trying to get out." Sargoff cannot have character descriptions, themes, or any real detail in his "skinny book" because of his beleifs. Sargoff leaves off why Polynices should not be burried and why his brother, who is not even menchoned, can be burried
Groom's Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history - the very first and last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a privilege and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don't let her down. Today has so far been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligent
Humorous and Sentimental Wedding Speech by the Groom I was going to begin with "ladies and gentlemen" but on looking around I'm glad I didn't. So here goes. Distinguished guests, those of lesser distinction, and those of no distinction at all, family relatives, new and old, in-laws and out-laws, friends, friends of friends, and freeloaders, welcome to our wedding reception. First of all I would like to thank my brothers and my new sister for their kind words. I did have a speech all
Humorous Wedding Toast by the Bride's Brother Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Mike for his kind words and reiterate how wonderful they look and what a fantastic job they have done today. I would also like to say that Sallie looks stunning - as I'm sure you'll all agree. Which really isn't that much of a surprise given we are related. Sallie is of course my sister, so I've known her much longer than I've known Mike. But I have
Humorous Best Man Speech - The Groom’s Life Story Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. It’s surprising just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free lunch. It’s a good job the groom didn't choose the menu, otherwise we would have had penut-butter sandwiches washed down with beer. Firstly, I have a feet messages to read out.(read telegrams etc.) As Bill Clinton said to each of his girlfriends, I wont keep you long. I’d like to begin by thanking the groom for asking me to be
Humorous Best Man Speech Written for Two Best Men Best man 1: Good evening everyone. I must warn you we are both pretty nervous about doing this speech. We have spent many a night awake, trying plan it to no avail. We were both so nervous about doing this speech we asked the groom for some advice on how to prepare for talking to a large audience. Best man 2: So he did. He told us to imagine that you are all naked, so if you don't mind, we are going to give it a go. (Stares, winks at people)
Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom Thank you for your kind words, I am very proud to be your son-in-law; I hope I can live up to your expectations. I would sincerely like to thank you for welcoming me into your family, for bringing up such a lovely daughter, and for giving me your blessing to marry her. In addition. due to the number of phone calls between my wife and her mom, the phone company would also like to thank you both. On this date in history in 1889 the Boer War ended, and
Sentimental and Humorous Speech by the Father of the Bride Ladies and gentlemen, it is my very pleasant duty to welcome you here this evening to this special occasion of celebrating this marriage. I'm sure that you will all agree on how radiant and gorgeous the bride is. However the groom is not too bad himself. I know that some of you have traveled quite a distance to be with us here tonight, from both overseas and interstate. We really thank you and welcome you here tonight and hope that
Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom It is apparent from the opening few lines of this speech that the groom has an excellent relationship with the bride's parents and this can be really useful, not just in the future, for obvious reasons, but it can also make the speech more humorous. This speech is also a good example of using events in history that happened on the same date as a source of humor. Thank you for those lovely words. I'd like to remind you that you're not so much losing a
Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom The groom has used the wedding date as a source for funny lines, comparing their marriage with celebrity couples for comic effect. While preparing this speech I thought it would be interesting to see if any celebrity couples had been married on the same day as us. Paul Simon and Carrie Fisher wed in 1983...and split up after 9 months. Oh dear. Also, Madonna married Sean Penn on this day in 1985; and we all know the outcome of that. Unlike the latter
Humorous Wedding Speech by Friend of Groom Ladies and gentlemen, thanks Gary for those kind words. It has been a pleasure for all us attendants to play a small part in your big day. Before I say a word or two about the groom, what about that dress Jeanie is wearing? It has attracted so much favorable comment from the guests here that I have to give it a special mention. You look stunning Jeanie! When Gary asked me to be his best man I immediately thought of the speech. I saw it as an opportunity
Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. I would first like to thank you all for coming today and helping to make Marcus and Adrian's wedding such a memorable and special occasion. Personally, I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my job less nerve wracking. When I was asked to be in the wedding party I decided that I needed to know what the role entailed. I have now read several books, and all of them include a last minute checklist to guarantee
Humorous Wedding Speech for a Sister of the Groom Ladies and Gentlemen you'll be pleased to know I am only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat..... if I go on too long Angie has threatened to cut it. However, before I begin, on behalf of John and Angie I would like to thank everyone who has helped to make this the special day that it is - and I think we can all agree it has been splendid so far. Well, I knew it would be difficult to follow a speech made by John
Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must admit, I am more nervous about participating in this wedding than I was as the groom (bridegroom) at my own wedding. Maybe it's because I have been married thirty years and I know what my son is getting himself in to! Joking aside, I've had a wonderful marriage and I would like to remind David and Arba that it's a serious business, and shouldn't be entered into lightly - although, at his weight,
Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred. Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniel's best man today. So let me tell you about all those
Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of Groom Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the bridesmaids, I must thank Donald for his kind words. I must also thank all of you for coming today - I know how hard it is to get a day release. As Donald’s lighter brother – sorry, I meant little brother, which is simply a reference to the fact that he is older than I am, and nothing else – I would also like to welcome Liz into the family. I think you’ll find the Endeans to be a warm and open