People know a divorce can hurt a family, but they don’t always understand how it can change people’s behavior, until it is told to them. In a divorce, people think of it currently but not how it will change people in that situation for the rest of their lives. For instance, a child can be grown up and think that their life is perfect and it all changes from a safe place we once had into a place where you need to be careful everyplace you step. Suddenly, everything just become confusing and you blame yourself for the family separation, but you learn that it wasn’t and you could never change the outcome. You become closer to one parent and distant to the other, not knowing how much they are going to be in your future life or when you have children. When will your children get to visit their grandma or grandpa.
You are torn.
You get distant from your friends because you don’t want to keep getting hurt. Even though they are the ones that can help you. You are told that you should see a therapist, but you decline. How can you trust someone you don’t know?
When you get older, you learn to deal with the pain and move on with your life. You start to enjoy life a little more and you even fall in love, but you don’t love the same. Probably never will.
Commitment is fundamental for us and it can also be alarming for us.
Promises mean nothing to us, we need you to show us because verbally saying things isn’t making us feel like the relationship is strong. You want someone that will help you with your pain and someone that understands that they need to be your comfort zone because both households are stressful and we’ll need a place to get away. We love that there is so...
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We have seen our parents into multiple states, like depression and anger, caused by them fighting and not loving each other anymore. We guard our emotions so we will never need to deal with pain. We shut down our emotions and always pretend like we are fine, even though once in awhile we are lost. We shut down because we don’t want to show our partner that we are weak and we have problems to deal with. We think it’s our own battle that no one should help us with. Which makes us hard to deal with.
It is tough to love us.
We don’t want to open up to people because we think that they will leave and we will be crushed. We don’t want to be hurt, but then again we will try to open up to our partner because we want it to last. We know that it won’t last if we don’t open up, but it is hard for us to. So, please be patient because it will take time for us to let you in.
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