Essay about Tiger Vs. Tiger Woods

Essay about Tiger Vs. Tiger Woods

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In the beginning, God let mankind only have one really dank golfer. There were thousands that tried out for the position and many of them failed. One day, there was a young prodigy by the name of Tiger Woods. Tiger was on the driving range and somebody noticed how far and straight he was hitting each golf shot. They relayed the message onto God and he took notice of how fantastic Tiger was, and he was very ecstatic because somebody finally lived up to God 's prophecy. It seemed as if Tiger was unbeatable...this man didn 't have any weaknesses. Tiger needed to prove himself on the biggest stage in golf. However, God told Tiger that he needed to win the next golf tournament he entered, otherwise he would not be considered mankind 's dankest golfer. Tiger knew he didn 't have any competition that could take him out because he already beat every other contender multiple times....or did he have any competition?
When Tiger went to sign up for the golf tournament, he noticed that all his usual competitors were signed up. There were a couple new names, but Tiger had no worries. Tiger still had two days before the two day tournament, so he took his time while practicing because he knew this tournament would be a piece of cake. He stroked out about 100 putts and then he chipped for a little while. Tiger heard a bunch of commotion over on the driving range, so he walked over there and saw the most glamorous golf swing of his life. Shot after shot after shot went dead straight and flew as far as the eye could see. Everybody was clapping and cheering him on...who was this guy? "Hey Happy, can we see you hit some putts with your hockey stick?" Happy? What kind of name is that? "Now now folks, you know my hockey stick is no good when it comes t...


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...reen. He knew Happy had something to do with this. Tiger called an official over, but the only thing he said was that he had to finish the hole. Tiger thought he had lost it, but he had to try his luck. He took a couple practice swings, inhaled deeply, and hit the shot. Everyone watched the ball carefully as it hit off of the metal, then slid down a railing, bounced off a squirrel 's bushy tail, hit off a lady bug, and crept towards the hole. The people watched in awe as the ball stood at the edge of the cup. Tiger walked towards the ball, and just as he was about to tap in for birdie, the ball slipped into the cup for an eagle.
Tiger had achieved the impossible. As he watched his nemesis cry a monsoon of tears, God crowned Tiger as the world 's dankest golfer. Happy was able to exploit tiger 's weakness a little bit, but in the end it was no match for Tiger Woods.

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