Looking back to your high school years, what do you remember? Do you think of that one night that you got to get all dressed up, wear high heels, and spray pounds of hair spray onto your loose curly hair? Or, maybe you think of your best friend? The person who is supposed to be your partner in crime and always there for you when someone hurts you. Your best friend is not supposed to be the one who hurts you the most. In my case, I had exactly the opposite. I was the target of my narcissistic best friend for my entire high school experience.
But, what exactly is a narcissist? “A narcissist is a personality trait marked by an inflated sense of importance, a need for attention and admiration, a sense of entitlement, and a tendency to exploit others.” (Weiten, Wayne) A narcissist will “take pleasure in successful manipulations by putting down unsuspecting, soft hearted souls and will always believe in their own superiority over someone that, no matter the evidence.” (Barron, Carrie, M.D.) My best friend was exactly all of these things. She was persistently wondering where I was, what I was doing, or who I was with. Constantly, feeling guilty for no reason and being fearful of my own best friend was extremely exhausting.
Thinking about my freshman year leading up to my senior year was thoughts of really good memories that we had together. Having sleepovers on school nights, hanging out almost every weekend, and do pretty much doing everything together. But, for some reason this year was different. To the outside world she seemed charming, self-assured, and humorous. Therefore, initially, she was well liked. Being around her every day, others would see her in this way. She was a very well-liked perso...
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...self rather than on how depressed I was. Meditation was took a huge part in getting me though the rest of the year. Being in a relaxed state when I got stresses helped tremendously. I started to see an improvement in my grades and life started to get a little better.
My life from high school to my life today has changed momentously. My friend has moved away from college and I hear from her here and there. I never did end up ending our friendship but I did try several times. She always seemed to turn everything back on me and I would feel guilty for nothing once again. All in all I learned a great lesson. I learned that it’s okay to rely on others for help and its okay if you can’t figure everything out on your own. Stress is something everyone has to deal with but, at the moments of just feeling like every odd is against you, you prevail and come out stronger.
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