The Strength to Stand
"Sometimes, mothers say and do things that seem like they don 't want their kids ... but when you look closely, you realize that they 're doing those kids a favor. They 're just trying to give them a better life." ―Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care. My family was not the best, but they taught me how to live. They made me who I am and instilled values deep within me. The tragedies I faced and the hardships I endured, they are the reasons why I am Darnelle Semper. So many times I know my mom thought she failed me. Whether it was seeing me cry or knowing I did not do my best. To her, my failures were her own. Some mothers are not necessarily nurturing in the sense of giving hugs and kisses. My mom chose to show me love by discipline and strictly providing for me. Strength is a very peculiar thing and is different to everyone. To some, physical strength is more important than mental strength. To me, mental strength is most important because your mind is where you are most vulnerable. Having a strong mind gives the effect of invincibility, it turns you into a rubber ball that can just bounce back. Hearing ill words and being beaten beyond normal punishment takes a toll not only on the body
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My every move and every breath was dictated by her. My mother was later diagnosed with cancer in the thymus gland though she had never smoked which confused me. She was never a compassionate mother until she knew she was dying. She gave me hugs and got excited when I came home from school nearing the end. She became the mother I had craved when I was a child and that fact thrilled me. Like every joy in my life at the time, the cycle bagan. The cycle where every good thing ended. When I was most happiest with my mom, she died in my arms a slow painful death. I froze with her head on my chest, holding her, staring at her. Unable to say anything or shed a tear, I watched my mother
It is hard for me to believe she’s gone, my primary influence, sustainer, supporter and wisest counselor has left me physically. Mother was such an active participant in this world right to her very last breath. I am so grateful to have been with her on her last day. At his point she was struggling to form words and get them out, but her mind was alert, caring and compassionate. She was still worried about me, a mother to the end.
“Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is also synonymous with servanthood, everyday women are called upon to selflessly meet the need of their families. Whether they are awake nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less than grateful teenagers, or preparing meals, mom continuously put others before themselves” – Charles Stanley (Brainy Quotes, 2016)
Not to sound like a mother’s boy, I will courageously say that my mother had the most influence on my life and the way I see the world, or have at least come to know it. My mother was a fighter in every sense of the word, even during her illness that took her life back in 1989. Even though I only had her for 19 years of my own life, she was a true blessing; I blame her for the goodness that has been instilled in me.
Soon thereafter my parents split up and I could feel their discord; like vibrations of hate upon snapping wires. They seemed to become somehow physically incapable of co-habiting the same spaces. It was as if something physiological that was once inside them was taken from them. Stolen was that strange organ that makes people feel the sincere need to be near someone else. As I grew older I began to observe my mother and her bizarre behaviors. Her anxious isolations and her pill bottle like a Xanax Barbie stuck to her hand. She was always so far away from me. I would sit and wonder where she would go; off to some corner of her mind where up was down and all the wrong in life was right. She was safe behind a closed door; in silence and stillness. I was always alone; and always lonely, with my mother in the next room. She may as well have been a million miles away from me. The older I got the colder the hugs became; it was like she was tired of faking it.
Over the next few days, we took it easy. I went back to work. My mom was getting worse as each day went on with a few good days in between, of course. We ended up moving my niece Lexi’s birthday up a few days because we wanted to make sure my mom would be there for it. She, my mom, couldn’t talk as well anymore, but she made the effort to sing for her granddaughter. The day before my niece’s actual birthday, my mom passed away. Her wish had come true, too. She had wanted my dad to be the only one in the room when she went.
Is there an enduring self? My answer to this question would be yes. It is my belief that the enduring self is our mind or brain. No matter the location of a mind, or how its state may become degraded, the mind is still itself in essence, and it is the culmination of who we are and our body is the vessel by which we express the enduring self.
My first year as a student, I called my mother every day, telling her everything that happened, whether it was good or bad, she knew. My freshmen year was the roughest academic year I have experienced, I cried and went home every week and each time I went home my mother was there praying and fasting on my behave. She was there to remind me not to run away from my academics, but to face them with faith and passion. This was not an easy task, but with her motivating me, praying for me and giving me encouraging words throughout the semester, nothing seemed
Regardless of her challenges, she ingrained her passion, perseverance, and and motivation into the core values that she taught me. As a result, her influence on my life is endless. More importantly, my mother was a survivor. Not only did she raise four children as a single, Black woman, but she did all of which while simultaneously fighting breast cancer for over seventeen years. Despite the difficulties, my mother never succumbed to the severity of her condition. She did not wait to die, but in fact lived her life to the fullest. Ranging from traveling the world, running successful businesses, and being a mother, she left no stone unturned. This is one of the reasons that I respect my mother so much. The fact that she went the extra mile to care for my siblings and I, pursue her own career, while holding on to her life, inspires me to never let my challenges keep me from my living an abundant life. I hope to be a fraction of the woman that my mother was when I grow
A mother’s love is said to have power beyond this world. This is seen throughout popular culture as well. For example, in Harry Potter, Harry is protected from Voldemort’s spells at birth by the power of his mother’s love. But can a mother’s love be heard, felt, and embraced in the physical world, even after a mother has passed away? In Stephen Wagner’s article “Mothers' Messages from Beyond,” Wagner writes about the accounts of real people who claim they have felt the presence of their mother’s in some way after their passing. The article includes five personal accounts from other people, along with Wagner’s own personal experience. The supernatural accounts vary anywhere from hearing whispers, seeing apparitions, and even seeing the deceased in one’s dreams. Through the use of emotional stories, pathos, and personal experience, Stephen Wagner tells the stories of mothers reaching out to their children beyond the grave in “Mothers' Messages from Beyond,” to convey a message that even in death, a mother’s loving words can be felt by the living.
I, of course, knew my mother as a mother. As I have reached adulthood and become a mother myself, I have also known her as a friend. My mom shared much of herself with me, and I saw sides of my mother as she struggled with her cancer that I had never seen before, especially her strong belief in positive thinking and the importance of quality of life. I was privileged to know so many facets of my mother, but certainly I did not know all. There were parts of her life that I didn’t see, relationships that I didn’t know about. Last night, at the wake, so many stories were told to me about my mom’s strength, courage, humor, kindness, her quietness, her loyalty as a friend. It was so special to hear of these things that my mom said and did, to know some of these other parts of her life. I hope that her friends and family will continue to share these stories with me and with each other so we can continue to know and remember my mom.
My mother was taking care of me, and my three other siblings all alone by herself. When my father was living my mother only had one job, but now she had to work more. She had a massive impact on our lives by making sure we had everything we needed. Because I was the oldest of my siblings, I felt like I was a parent. At just eight years old, I had to skip school just to make sure my siblings had someone to look after them while my mother worked. I was obligated to feed them, give them baths, and put clothes on them. It was very difficult, but I knew my mother had to pay bills, and take care of us and herself, so I knew she couldn’t afford a babysitter. When times got very tough, my mom would get stressed out and take it out on us by throwing tantrums, hollering at us and beating on us. I didn’t have a choice but to encourage my mother, and be the one to push her to not give
There have been a vast number of lives that have touched mine. Many different people have shared a piece of their soul in my formation. However, it is my mother who is the most important and most influential person in my life. My mother raised me by herself since the day I was born. My father was abusive and she left to make a better life for the both of us. She has worked as many as four jobs at one time. My mother wants to make sure my brothers and I have a better life than she did. It hasn’t always been easy for her, taking care of us on her own, trying to pay bills and making sure we had everything we needed. My mom has always had us involved in sports at a very young age. We always were doing something or involved in something growing up. We went to summer school all through elementary school because she wanted us to get a head start. I remember when we were little she enrolled us I a manners and more class and I can recall when we would go out to eat people would compliment us on how well behaved we were.
My mother was not only worry and take care of me, she always by my side when I need her help. I felt sad, my mother always by my side to talk and to console. While I am glad, my mother is always been there to share and listen to me. When I failed to do something, my mother who was gave me advices. She has always supported me in all my choices. She tried to make me strong people with independent minds. I looks to her in hopes that someday I will be as happy, as strong and as well as
My mother was a god to me in those days, and in my eyes she could do no wrong. I think she understood this, and in turn she lavished attention on me like I was a princess in my own little world whose wishes were to be carried out no matter the cost. We were close, too, and not a day went by when I did not divulge some sort of secret knowledge to my mom.
When I needed to talk, she listened. When I was ill, she healed me. When I was hungry, she fed me. This frail woman whom I call my mom was a superwoman while I was growing up. With wisdom, she guided; with tenderness, she spoke; and with love, she raised me. Although we were very poor, my mother made it a point always to give me a present on my birthday.