Split Personality : ' The Hook Of The Show ' Essay example

Split Personality : ' The Hook Of The Show ' Essay example

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SPLIT PERSONALITY is a proposed TV series. It presents as a dark comedy. The hook of the show is that the main protagonist, Katy, a spiritual healer, has her own spiritual event when she begins seeing a mysterious “teenager” that looks like her. It turns out to be her dead aunt.

The plot does a nice job in highlighting Katy’s off-centered and dysfunctional family. They all present as offbeat and eccentric. They are all flawed. They feel like original characters that could attract talent given their quirky personalities.

However, the concern about the presentation is that the pilot doesn’t offer a central problem for the characters to solve, the tension is very mild, and at the end of the pilot, there really isn’t a clear sense of what this series will look like. It’s very important for the pilot to convey how this can be a long-term series and what the formula or structure will look like for future episodes.

It’s suggested that the current series of events be revised to identify a central problem for Katy and to rework the subplot involving Holly.

First, the opening scene is very confusing. One understands that they have been certified, but the nectar event isn’t clear as to what this is or why Paul would be giving this to the students. In addition, the comedy isn’t strong enough in the opening. Katy’s trip in the tree as Katy Owl feels too surreal and again challenging to interrupt. The main plot beat is the idea of Katy seeing the teenager.

The first act introduces Holly, who’s a scene-stealer. Her subplot is introduced, but it would be more effective if she were just going to go on an audition for a part versus the idea that she already has the part. This would create more anticipation and the twist would be that sh...


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... healer or therapist is very appealing and makes for a solid hook.

The idea of a ghost appearing also can be a good hook.

The idea of a dysfunctional family always makes for a good TV series.

The characters are original and refreshing.

Consider reworking the pilot to identify a goal for Katy to solve, like a client.

Consider moving up the reveal about her aunt being a ghost.

Consider reworking the subplot about Holly.

Consider eliminating the relationship between Katy and her brother in law, as this makes her unlikable for a TV series.

Find ways to elevate the tension. Normally this is derived when the problem of the week spiraling out of control.

End each act on high tension.

The pilot and the series should have an emotional premise and normally the core character or characters learn something internally at the end of the show.

See grid below.

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