Many people think that the way men and women communicate is determined by our sex, which is defined as the way we were created biologically. While others tends to think that communication differences between the men and women are because of our gender which is the way society has brought us up to think that men are to talk one way, an women another. West and Zimmerman explain it as” Gender is not something we are born with, and not something we have, but something we do” (qtd. Eckert and McConnell-Ginet 10). Men and women communicate differently not because it is a biologically encoded in our DNA but because society moles us to act upon our biological difference. I want to explore on this idea that society teaches men and women to converse differently to each other, assert themselves differently in certain situations talk more or less depending on your gender.
One of the most obvious ways we are able to compare gender communication a difference is through conversation. Most of people can think of a time when they’ve a had conversation with the opposite sex, and felt that they weren’t on the same page as the person you were talking to. This isn’t because you are just wired to think differently, this is because society has long told us that men must be competitive while women must take submissive roles in society. It is best put by Henley and Kramaraed stating “ because sexual communication is indirect, subtle, complex, and shaped by gendered norms for interaction, genuine miscommunication undoubtedly does take place”(qt. Eckert, Penelope & Ginet, Sally-McConnell 244). Ronald Macaulay disagrees when he writes “ There seems, however, to be a deep-seated desire to find essential differences between the speech of men and women tha...
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Kelley, Rhonda H. “ Communication between Men and Women in the Context of the Christian Community”. The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood. 1996. Web. 2010
Macaulay, Ronald. “Sex Differences”. Exploring Thought Ed. Gary Goshgarian
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We all have a certain way of communicating that seems evident and natural to us, so we can be shocked, frustrated, or even sadden when someone misinterprets us. Interacting with other people is part of our daily lives, yet men and women have different styles of communication and behavior. Some of the major differences between men and women are how they express emotion, affection or intimacy, and communication. Women tend to be more emotional and express more affection, whereas men are far less emotional and express less affection. Women regard intimacy as talking face-to-face; however, men regard intimacy as working or playing side-by-side. Women tend to ask more questions when communicating while men ask fewer or no questions at all. These
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Harrington, Daniel J. (S.J.) The truth about Jesus and Women. Retrieved April 12, 2014 from
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
Further evidence of communicative differences exist between men and women in various other social settings as well. Consider, for example, those individuals employed in customer service-related Jobs. While in JC Penny, I noticed that female customer service representatives were more apt to offer immediate friendly assistance than the male reps. Men are not as cocky nor as confident in this sort of situation; their eyes tend to dart around the area of the store while the eyes of a women remain focused upon the eyes of the customer. The men seem to communicate with a lot less smiles. Apparently they have to get past a certain “ice-breaking'; point before they will feel comfortable with a genuine look of happiness.
Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.
Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women share. These networks also differ and as do the reasonings for their formation. Although we do not think that men and women need to change their cultures to effectively communicate, we do think that better communication is possible. One of the researchers we took a look at was Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen the reason that men and women do not communicate well is that men and women use language differently. Women take the attitude that conversation is to explore solutions to common problems while men concern themselves more with getting information and hard data from conversation. Tannen states that what women look for in communication is human connection, while men consider status to be most important. They are looking for independence and are constantly looking for higher accomplishments. Intimacy threatens this independence, so men have a tendency to avoid it. One of the old sayings about women is that they talk more than men. It turns out that it is not necessarily true. Women seem to talk more in private conversations than do men. Women do not generally have a fear of intimacy and therefore are much more open with one another during private conversations. It is more difficult for women to use this type of communication style in the public arena. In that case it is men that do most of the talking. Tannen ultimately argues that men use communication as a weapon. They use long explanations to command attention from who it is they are speaking to. They use it to convey information and to ultimately gain agreement. Tannen suggests that through even simple conversation men are continually protecting their status. She sugg...
Do men and women really speak different languages? Well according to the Men are from Mars and Women from Venus theory, we speak very different languages. The Mars and Venus concept is by John Gray. John Gray offered many suggestions for understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite gender. Another major point of Gray's books are the differences in the way they react under stress. John Gray’s book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” was the best seller for 6 years in a role. As you can see, people really do believe that men and women communicate in a very different way. But I am not completely convinced. I believe there is more that your gender that plays a role in how you communicate with the opposite gender.
Communication is an essential part of human life. People perceive things in a different way because of ethnic background differences, attitudes and beliefs, etc. These differences may affect our ability to communicate with our counterpart. Therefore, it is necessary to keep our mind open so that we can reduce the risk of communication breakdown. Men and women are different as everyone knows that. However, their differences are no just physiological and anatomical. Recent researches have concluded that there are remarkable differences between the two genders in the way their brains process information, language, emotion, cognition etc. Scientists have discovered the differences in the way men and women carry out mental functions like judging speed, estimating time, spatial visualization and positioning, mental calculation. Men and women are strikingly different not only in these tasks but also in the way their brains process language. This could account for the reason why there are overwhelmingly more male mathematicians, pilots, mechanical engineers, race car drivers and space scientists than females. On the other hand, there are areas in which women outperform men. Women are naturally endowed with better communication and verbal abilities. They are also effective than men in some of the tasks like emotional empathy, establishing human relations, carrying out pre-planned tasks and creative expressions (Kimura 1999).
Men and women are more different than one can imagine. Though the main difference is in physical appearance, another difference is their sense of communication. Women appear to talk more than males, but like to keep their conversations more private. Males, on the other hand, will talk less, but do not mind their conversations being more public. This is just one of many examples of men and women being completely opposite of one another in terms of communication. Each gender has their own expectations of the opposite. These expectations are not usually met due to communication differences, which leads to criticisms such as, “Men do not listen” or “Women will never understand” to form. The most common assumption for why expectations are not met
This paper aims to examine how gender differences are manifested in linguistic behavior. It focuses on the way men and women speak rather than that they are spoken about. Their speech differences in politeness, interaction, style and confidence are socialization practices which connote the power inequality between the two sexes. Examples of genderlects will be presented, and possible explanations from different perspectives will be evaluated before making a reasonable conclusion on the issue.
Tannen, D. (2007). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York, NY: Harper.
Gender communication focused on the method of expressing a thought or idea through the use of a gender in the relationship and the role of people. Some will argue that gender communication is qualified as a form of intercultural communication on the development of effective communication skills when we interact with an opposite sex. The communication between men and women have a huge difference because people from different culture speak different dialects. In the current society, it is common for us to hear phrases such as “ you men (women) are from a different planet,”these phrases are developed due to the miscommunication between men and women over the course of evolution. Men and women had developed different methods of
Essentially, we are all different. We use language differently and interpret language differently. This is what we base our perceptions of others on, thus it is ultimately what dictates our interaction with others. The fact that men’s and women’s interaction differs because the two sexes generally interpret things differently is not a strange phenomenon, because we are all different.
Wardhaugh states different social norms defining the standards of being men or women, which has a profound influence on the language behavior shown by different genders. In other words, both men and women should possess the ability to show either masculinity or feminity through the language they use. When this ability overlaps with the other gender, however, one might be considered as as outsider of their own gender. He then lists the main differences between males and femals with the connection with language: genetic differences, social differences (e.g. various roles people take within a certain society), and linguistic differences (e.g. speech style and word choice). Doing so, he gives readers an indepth idea about how gender differences link to various language behaviors. He further explains how these differences are possibly created and constructed in society. Wardhaugh also examines a few common gender stereotypes, such as women talk more than men, and proves most of the stereotypes are wrong.