The Silent Deep Is A Character Driven, Historical Drama Based On True Events

The Silent Deep Is A Character Driven, Historical Drama Based On True Events

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INTO THE SILENT DEEP is a character driven, historical drama based on true events. It’s a story that should be told. The script offers stunning action sequences and visual storytelling, from the image of the mammoth submarine to the harrowing sinking of the submarine into the deep waters. The script does a good job in bringing the submarine to life, as if it’s another character.

The tone is dramatic. The time, era, and culture feel and sound authentic. The script offers an ensemble cast with some compelling tension in the third act climax.

With that said, while the true events are compelling, the script, however, would benefit from further development. The areas to re-examine include the structure, pace, and professional presentation, as well as continued character development.

The story opens near the end, establishing two different submarines in peril, setting the tone and creating suspense about which submarine is lost. It’s a workable opening, although, the opening is impeded by the introduction of too many characters and because the audience doesn’t really understand exactly what’s happening, it does feel a bit confusing. At the end of the script, it makes more sense and the pieces fall together. The opening backstory or prologue also feels a bit long at eight pages. Consider streamlining the opening.

The structure transitions to two years earlier, which works well. The story is driven by the idea of testing the USS Thresher. This drives the plot. The second act, however, tends to focus too much on the personal issues of some of the characters and this is less compelling. It becomes too much of a social drama, mainly the issues about Ruth kissing other men, including David. This distracts away from the main storyline...


... middle of paper ...


... tend to hinder the pace of the script.

On page 46, avoid explaining Wayne’s feelings in bed. On page 56, there’s no way for the viewing audience to understand what Wayne is thinking when he considers whether he should bring up what he saw last night.

Also, consider cutting: “We suddenly,” and “We are on a collision course.” Just show the scene. “We” can be distracting and slows the pace.


The strongest tension comes in the final act with the sinking of the submarine. The action is good. However, as mentioned, find other ways to enhance and foreshadow the disaster. Most likely this can be done through David if he acts more concerned about the damage and whether or not the testing is safe. Make him more proactive regarding these concerns.

In summary, this is a story that should be told, but needs to be revised to create a tighter, more compelling structure.

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