INTO THE SILENT DEEP is a character driven, historical drama based on true events. It’s a story that should be told. The script offers stunning action sequences and visual storytelling, from the image of the mammoth submarine to the harrowing sinking of the submarine into the deep waters. The script does a good job in bringing the submarine to life, as if it’s another character.
The tone is dramatic. The time, era, and culture feel and sound authentic. The script offers an ensemble cast with some compelling tension in the third act climax.
With that said, while the true events are compelling, the script, however, would benefit from further development. The areas to re-examine include the structure, pace, and professional presentation, as well as continued character development.
The story opens near the end, establishing two different submarines in peril, setting the tone and creating suspense about which submarine is lost. It’s a workable opening, although, the opening is impeded by the introduction of too many characters and because the audience doesn’t really understand exactly what’s happening, it does feel a bit confusing. At the end of the script, it makes more sense and the pieces fall together. The opening backstory or prologue also feels a bit long at eight pages. Consider streamlining the opening.
The structure transitions to two years earlier, which works well. The story is driven by the idea of testing the USS Thresher. This drives the plot. The second act, however, tends to focus too much on the personal issues of some of the characters and this is less compelling. It becomes too much of a social drama, mainly the issues about Ruth kissing other men, including David. This distracts away from the main storyline...
... middle of paper ...
... tend to hinder the pace of the script.
On page 46, avoid explaining Wayne’s feelings in bed. On page 56, there’s no way for the viewing audience to understand what Wayne is thinking when he considers whether he should bring up what he saw last night.
Also, consider cutting: “We suddenly,” and “We are on a collision course.” Just show the scene. “We” can be distracting and slows the pace.
The strongest tension comes in the final act with the sinking of the submarine. The action is good. However, as mentioned, find other ways to enhance and foreshadow the disaster. Most likely this can be done through David if he acts more concerned about the damage and whether or not the testing is safe. Make him more proactive regarding these concerns.
In summary, this is a story that should be told, but needs to be revised to create a tighter, more compelling structure.
Need Writing Help?
Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.Check your paper »
- As Richard Abel observes, “The materiality of silent cinema…has become so unfamiliar to us, so different from that of our own cinema in the late twentieth century” that it is difficult to view silent film as anything but anachronistic (4). However, with 2011’s The Artist—an homage to silent film—winning Best Picture at the Academy Awards, it may be worthwhile to examine the nature and appeal of silent film. In a way, silent film does something that the modern day special effects spectaculars do not do: it leaves more to the imagination and calls upon the viewer to use his or her own mind in correspondence with the moving pictures.... [tags: Movies, Entertainment, SIlent Movies, Analysis]
888 words (2.5 pages)
- Amongst the numerous great silent film directors, the three that are commonly mentioned surrounding that discussion are Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, and Charlie Chaplin. Having seeing a greater amount of Charlie Chaplin’s magnificent work than the others, Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd most certainly still got my consideration. In spite of every one of the three delivering awesome pieces of visual artwork, they shared some comparable attributes, however they each had unique differences which contributed to their each distinct style of silent film production.... [tags: Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, Silent film, Film]
701 words (2 pages)
- Deep vein thrombosis in the healthcare setting can be reduced through appropriate interventions. A deep vein thrombosis can result in an emboli and ultimately lead to a pulmonary embolism. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (2015), “The precise number of people affected by DVT/PE is unknown, although as many as 900,000 people could be affected (1 to 2 per 1,000) each year in the United States.” “Pulmonary embolism resulting from deep vein thrombosis—collectively referred to as venous thromboembolism—is the most common preventable cause of hospital death” (Maynard, 2015).... [tags: Deep vein thrombosis, Vein, Patient, Deep vein]
1045 words (3 pages)
- Ocean geoengineering based on deep ecology, could work. Many solutions have been developed in order to stop climate change in the last 30 years. One in particular called geoengineering has, apparently, gained reputation as a good way to slow down this environmental harm. These technological fix has increased the support of many organisations because is reliable and the consequences for the environment are less than it is thought. However to build geoengineering-based projects it is necessary to adopt an ethical thinking, in this case an environmental one, that preserves the ecosystem.... [tags: Carbon dioxide, Global warming, Ocean]
2100 words (6 pages)
- The Artist Analysis Introduction Silent film, a nearly extinct cinema genre, has been brought back to life to live out its final moments in the modern age. This art is the original form of cinema that first used the techniques of cinematography and acting to construct a base platform that made the film industry into the success it is today. The Artist is of the romance genre, as it tells the story of a silent film actor trying to survive the progressing technology with the film industry and the invention of the “Talkies” or films with dialog that can be heard and eventually finding his place in the end.... [tags: Film, Silent film, Sound film]
1256 words (3.6 pages)
- The Silent Partner: A Canadianization Dilemma Works Cited Missing As a student of Canadian film, I find great appreciation in films that work to culturally enrich Canada's movie screens. I feel that an honest portrayal of Canadian values and culture is beneficial not only by enhancing the credibility of Canada's film industry, but also by maintaining a voice for the customs held by the Canadian people. For these reasons, among others, it had become very easy for me to dislike Daryl Duke's 1978 film The Silent Partner.... [tags: Film Movie Movies Canada Silent Partner Essays]
2917 words (8.3 pages)
- Out of the Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis In the year 1625, Francis Bacon, a famous essayist and poet wrote about the influences of fear on everyday life. He stated, “Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other” (Essays Dedication of Death). Clearly, external surroundings affect perceptions of fear as well as human nature in general. Although C.S. Lewis published the novel, Out of the Silent Planet, over three centuries after Bacon wrote his theory on fear, Lewis similarly portrayed external surrounding to manipulate perceptions of fear.... [tags: Fear Silent Planet C.S. Lewis Essays]
1230 words (3.5 pages)
- Analysis of Silent Spring by Rachel Carson Silent Spring is a novel written by a woman named Rachel Carson, which was published in 1962. With advance sales of 40 000 copies the book went on to be recognised in 1992 as the most influential book of the last 50 years, and was held in much the same respect and admiration as great works such as Karl Marx's 'Das Capital and Charles Darwin's 'The Origin of Species'. About the book ============== The book takes an in depth look at the hazardous and detrimental consequences of the use of chemical fertilisers and pesticides in not only agriculture, but in other activities particularly leisure.... [tags: Silent Spring Rachel Carson Agriculture Essays]
1277 words (3.6 pages)
- Racism in the Video Skin Deep In the ideal world everybody is equal. In the real world there is racism. Situations stemming from racist feelings and conflicts between ethnic groups remains a serous problem. The video Skin Deep brought together college students of different races to express their feeling and beliefs about racism. The video supported the idea that the environment you are raised in is an influence on beliefs and feelings you might have towards other races. Dave’s grandfather was a confederate.... [tags: Skin Deep Racism Racist Essays]
1128 words (3.2 pages)
- The Power of Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring In 1962, Rachel Carson published Silent Spring and was greeted with a roar of protest and approval. After years and years of controversy and skepticism surrounding its argument, Silent Spring was and still is recognized as a perceptive warning of things in progress and things to come. The book set the stage for the first real and effectual environmental movement. In 17 chapters, many of which can stand alone as essays, Carson develops a deceptively simple premise: the use and overuse of synthetic chemicals to control insect pests introduces these chemicals into the air, water, and soil and into the food chain where they poison animals and humans,... [tags: Silent Spring]
1472 words (4.2 pages)