Around the GCU campus, marriage and engagement is in the air. Men and women who have been together from a few months to a few years have made the decision to commit to each other for the rest of their life. In the Bible, there are four different Greek words that mean love: agape (Godly), eros (erotic), storge (family), and philia (friendship). In social psychology, there are three main types of love that combine to form different types of love. In Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, there are three main types of love: liking (intimacy alone), empty love (commitment alone), and infatuation (passion alone) (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2013). When intimacy, commitment, and passion are combined, an experience known as consummate love is felt. This is the fullest form of love that all seek, but also find difficult to acquire and maintain. My ex-fiancé and I experienced consummate love for a good four years, but then our love developed into a possessive love style. According to John Allan Lee, possessive love relationships are often characterized by jealousy and a roller-coaster style of love (Crooks & Baur, 2008). In order to keep the name of my ex-fiancé confidential to respect her privacy, we will call her Cynthia. Cynthia became jealous of any girl I spent time with and she began making great life choices based upon what she assumed I wanted from her. She often got agitated when I did not respond to texts or could not answer my phone. Now that we are friends, we often discussed what went wrong and how similar we were to each other, yet also so different.
Cynthia and I have known each other for around eight years because we attended the same church. According to the proximity effect, the geograph...
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...thia to feel like I still loved her and vice versa. In the free time we did have, we never agreed on what to spend it on. I am the type of guys who enjoys hanging with a group of friends, going on a stroll, pumping iron in the gym, or reading, but Cynthia only wanted to stay inside and watch Netflix. We always tried to encourage one another to do what we wanted to do, but neither of us budged.
Cynthia and I had once had so much in common. Our proximity and religion brought us together, and our history kept us together for a time. Throughout time, our personalities and interests changed and developed. We soon became too different to be a part of a life-long committed relationship. We are still friends. In fact, we are best friends. I still have a lot of education left in my life and Cynthia is still endeavoring to find what she wants to do with her life.
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