Introduction “Conflict is a problematic situation that occurs between interdependent people who seek different goals or means to those goals (Cahn & Abigail, 2014).” Perceived differences can affect the relationship adversely if not addressed and is one of the characteristics of conflict. A sense of urgency about the need to resolve the differences are is another characteristics of conflict. While conflict occurs in many places – the workplace, between friends, parents and children, etc., one of the most difficult areas for conflict to occur is in a romantic relationship. Not resolving the conflict can cause resentment and a dampening of the feelings towards one another, and the urgency to resolve the differences is palpable. I have shared the last five years of my life with a friend and former boyfriend, Rob, living in a 40 foot boat. Living in these cramped quarters with someone that you love and get along famously with would be difficult, but living with someone that causes daily conflicts is next to impossible. Rob has been married twice and had been divorced for 13 years when I met him. His general attitude towards relationships is that if you do not like what he does, “you know where the door is.” I was told this several times during my first year with him. But I thought the good outweighed the bad. I was a full time boater myself, traveling in an older boat before I met Rob and I loved the lifestyle. Traveling with someone else and sharing the expenses made it possible for you to go many more places than you could traveling alone. Dating a man that had some truly good qualities – love and compassion for animals, good sense of humor, enjoying the boating lifestyle as well, love of family - and living in a ... ... middle of paper ... ...at, my situation Rob was resolved by my taking assertive communication steps and requesting that he seek counseling to help deal with his misperceptions about women. I now know about Relational Transgressions, Forgiveness and Reconciliation. But those can only occur between two people willing to work things out. He refused and I moved out. And life is much, much better outside of an atmosphere of constant conflict. Works Cited Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014).Managing conflict through communication(5th ed.). Boston: Pearson. O’Connor, A. (2009). Lee Marvin’s partner gave the world ‘palimony’. The Age/World. Retrieved from http://www.theage.com.au Tavris, C., & Aaronson, E. (2007). Mistakes were made (but not by me): Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts. New York: Harcourt.
Harrington & Braithwaite suggest as cited by West & Turner “It is through communication practices that people achieve dialectical unity, or the way in which people are able to make contradictions feel complete and satisfactory.” (West & Turner, 2010, p.201) What I perceive to be may be something different, however, once someone shows me who they really are; I can only believe what I see. No matter what, I choose to have in my relationship it has to be simultaneously in nature. If I decide to have behavior control this can still lead to contradictions in my relationship even though, I may change that does not mean that the other person in the relationship will. My boyfriend’s views of the relationship seem to be quite different than
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, of the Harvard Negotiation Project (HNP), wrote the book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Viking Press originally published the 234-page book in 1999. This self-help book, ISBN 0-670-88339-5, is available for purchase on Amazon for $24.95.
While the conflict stemmed mainly from the Senior Master Sergeant and the female airmen, it created a toxic environment in the small unit. The Senior’s harsh treatment and lack of empathy toward the airman eroded the trust of the entire unit. Her mistrust of the entire detachment sent her into isolation and her performance in other duties also began to suffer. This further strained relationships with her coworkers who felt as if they were picking up her slack.
Conflicts within relationships are inevitable and some conflict can help strengthen a relationship; however, in marriages and families, many people fail to work through their conflict, which results in unhealthy patterns of behavior. Over time, if left unresolved, these patterns of behavior can lead to a breaking of the relationship. Furthermore, most people do not set out seeking conflict within relationships, but rather they lack the emotional maturity to move through conflict. In fact, it is not the differences between the two parties that create the conflict, but rather the emotional reaction to their differences. Therefore, an intervention is required to begin the healing process of working through conflict. Often a pastor or counselor
In Alice Walker’s “Everyday Use”, one of the main characters, Dee, has a serious internal conflict with her heritage. Dee comes from a tight-knit family that has had it rough throughout all of its generations. Dee lives for fine, fancy things and her immediate family could never give her what she desired. Though her mother yearns for a healthy relationship with her, Dee looks past her mother’s wishes to reach her own goals of distancing herself from her family. Walker’s portrayal of Dee shows her to be very unhappy and at war with herself over her family issues.
There is no doubt that conflict occurs in every human institution including professional, unions, and educational and vocational environment. However effective exchange ideas through communication can greatly minimize the effects of marital conflict. Studies have suggested that couples remain married if they successfully manage their interpersonal communication on the basis of accommodating individual differences, problem resolving skills, forgiveness, collective decision making, empathy and above all positive conflict management.
Managing relationship conflicts can stem from a variety of sources. This can range from the communication aspect of a couple and also getting into disagreements. It can be hard to deal with a relationship conflict. The severity of the conflict can greatly affect the relationship in a variety of ways. One way the severity can affect the relationship is if the couple will still be together. Break ups can happen when getting into an argument, but they can also be preventable. Being able to identify the conflict triggers is a very important tool to learn and it can put a halt to arguments.
Describe a technique from the textbook (pages 165 - 167 and/or page 170) for reducing defensiveness during the conflict resolution process.
On the evening of Thursday, April 7, 2016, I attended The Grande at Colts Neck monthly board meeting. My reason for attending the meeting was to ask a few questions about when the grass will be cut and about having security cameras installed on the exterior of my unit due to the disturbing and alarming behavior actions committed by several female residents on Federal Key. Unbeknownst to me two of the female residents that have falsely accused me and my husband of various actions toward them also decided to attend the meeting. The third female resident who has also made false allegations against me and my husband is Board Member Ms. Janice Pacifico, was also present at the meeting.
Conflict undoubtedly occurs in our lives and is inevitable. From arguing with your siblings about whose turn it is to use the computer to having issues over financial matters, conflict comes in many different forms. Scholars believe that conflict can cannot always be resolved and refer to conflict management, which is the way we address disagreements with our relational partners. There are three main strategies I’d like to focus on towards managing conflict: escapist strategies, challenging strategies, and cooperative strategies. An escapist strategy avoids direct conflict because of reasons such as personal safety and practicality. Challenging strategies uses more skills such as assertiveness to get what they want and essentially cause a winner and a loser to manage the conflict. Using a cooperative strategy focuses on the issues instead of using verbal aggressiveness and to consider options and other alternatives. These three concepts of conflict management is important to me because it relates to my relationship with my girlfriend Nancy and gives me a chance to see the positive and negative sides of the strategies to determine which strategy would work for me. An example of a scenario in which these strategies can be applied to is about having a game console. I recently bought a Playstation 4 and Nancy is not pleased about how I use all my time to play games. Hypothetically, Let’s look at how these strategies could be used to manage this conflict.
Studies by Noller and White reports there are some extremely successful communication skills which can help couples interface amid a contention. The study names four components which are Coercion, Mutuality, Post-Conflict Distress, and Destructive Process. As per them, “Couples high in marital adjustment reported higher levels of Mutuality, and couples low in marital adjustment reported higher levels of Destructive Process, Coercion, and Post-Conflict Distress.” Mutuality is for the most part found in couples who feel balanced in their relational unions, and alternate elements are for the most part found in couples who feel less great in their connections. Delia and Sykes effortlessly fall in the classification of low marital adjustment as they fulfill all the elements that cause them to feel uncomfortable. However, Delia and Sykes prove the reports wrong when it comes to showing mutuality. In the story, Delia showed her level best mutually when Sykes used to start a fight. She used to overlook Sykes each time he insulted her. She knew if she answered back to Sykes, they would wind up in a relentless battle. Indeed, even subsequent to demonstrating mutuality, their marriage did not fit in the gathering of high marital
306) arises from contrasts, both huge and little. It happens at whatever point individuals differ over their qualities, inspirations, recognitions, thoughts, or goals. In some cases these distinctions seem trifling, yet when a contention triggers solid sentiments; a profound individual need is frequently at the center of the issue. These necessities can be a need to feel sheltered and secure, a need to feel regarded and esteemed, or a requirement for more prominent closeness and closeness. Conflict triggers forceful feelings and can prompt to, frustration, and inconvenience. At the point when taken care of in an undesirable way, it can bring about unsalvageable cracks, feelings of disdain, and separations. Be that as it may, when conflict is determined soundly, it expands our comprehension of each other, forms trust, and reinforces our relationship bonds. On the off chance that you are distant from your sentiments or so focused on that you can just pay consideration on a set number of feelings, you won't have the capacity to comprehend your own particular needs. What's more, on the off chance that you don't comprehend your own needs, you will experience serious difficulties with others and remaining in contact with what's truly alarming you. For instance, couples frequently contend about negligible contrasts the way she hangs the towels, the way he guzzles his soup—as opposed to what is truly annoying
When people get in trouble or in fights they have to respond to the conflict right? so we have to make sure we solve or respond to the conflict correctly,but a lot of people are asking themselves:what is conflict?
As a society, we tend to seek help only when we are in distress or crisis, in relationships we need to focus on how we can prevent these issues from arising. We often do this because it is much easier for us to be reactive during a conflict than to take preventive actions. For example, in the TV show Grey’s Anatomy, Cristina and Burke would often get into conflicts due to the constant clash of their competitive personalities. The constant distress and conflict ultimately resulted in Burke leaving Cristina at the altar. However, their relationship had many positive elements and could have continued if they had taken appropriate measures to prevent and manage conflict. Successful relationships require both partners to be able to engage in actions
The average worker spends two-thousand and eighty hours a year at their place of employment. Communication within the workplace is often overlooked or not given as much importance as most people should allow, given the amount of time that is spent there. Beyond the more basic verbal speech, one must be aware of the nonverbal symbols and noise that can have an effect on communication. There are also cultural, environmental and internal factors that can effect communication and how successful it can be. The various perceptions that an individual has developed over their life can also effect communication. One’s ability to communicate effectively will determine the success and enjoyment that is to come from their job.