Gottman’s main focus for couple therapy is to step back and allow a discussion between each partner. This is a beneficial strategy because it keeps the focus of the conversation on the couple instead of the therapist. By keeping the focus on the couple it ensures that they fully understand each other and ask questions if they do not understand. Therefore, they are able to see the other’s point of view and understand the rationale behind that view. One of Gottman’s strategy for ensuring focus is kept on the couple, is if one person is not being clear, to address the other asking if they understand their partner. This allows the listener to either ask their significant other, which creates dialogue, or for the listener to explain their partner’s point of view which shows the speaker they understand. Another benefit of keeping the focus on the couple ...
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... what the other is trying to say. Another method, which I specifically have great difficulty with in all of my relationships, is that I am unwilling to take a break from the argument. I always have this feeling that I must solve problems and therefore become fixated on them and unwilling to drop them. This can be problematic because there are points where stepping away would allow me to relax and be better equipped to deal with the issue. Therefore, I have begun to work on this and whenever I become too worked up, I try to take a break. This method also taught me that it may be beneficial to take this break with the other individual. I feel that this would be helpful because it allows you to do something fun with them which will bring back those feelings of friendship. Then when you discus the argument you will be more willing to look at it from their point of view.
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