The second hypothesis is by no means new. In fact, it accentuates communication as the cornerstone of any relationship. In his book, Gottman identifies four potentially destructive communication styles and managing mechanisms in addition to signs of an impending divorce: harsh start up, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, flooding, and body language. However, to describe the destructive communication styles which directly contribute to the feeling of disconnection, isolation and distant by a couple, Dr, John effectively uses the Four Horsemen metaphor (p. 27), which depicts the end times in the New Testament.
He identifies the first horseman as criticism (p. 27). This includes character attacks and making global complaints (“You never...” or “You always…”). Criticism differs from simple complaints from either of the parties about a specific situation or behaviour. In fact, the way in which couples express dissatisfaction with each other over a given matter is hugely important in the determination of the direction of a discussion.
The second one is contempt (p. 29). This refers to the use of sarcasm, mockery, and a ran...
... middle of paper ...
...e other along with an incident that demonstrates the trait and then read the list to each other.
The third principle is learning to interact on a frequent basis (turn toward each other instead of away) (p. 75). According to Gottman, romance is not fuelled by candle-lit dinners alone, but with constant interactions with your partner in different ways. In the last four principles, Gottman focuses on the importance of communication, negotiation, and conflict resolution (p. 99-264).
In conclusion, Dr. John Gottman demonstrates how communication is vital in any relationship and not just marriage. Personally, I consider a relationship to be a reciprocating affair in which every party plays a role to sustain it. In the event of a conflict with my partner, my go to plan is not to criticise, but to give room for dialogue in order to establish the root cause of the conflict.
Need Writing Help?
Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.Check your paper »
- I chose to do my research paper on Intimacy and Distance in Relational Communication because I wanted to learn how communication is used when you are in an intimate relationship. The question I ask is “How does communication affect being in an intimate relationship?”. In the book it states that “People who report having satisfying intimate relationships have higher self-esteem, a stronger sense of identity, and greater feelings of control over their lives than those without close relationships.” (Looking Out, Looking In, Pg.... [tags: Interpersonal relationship, Intimate relationship]
1940 words (5.5 pages)
- Introduction There is no doubt that effective communication is not only important but also the main supporter on which strong and healthy relationships are built. Many studies have proposed openness in communication as the basis for marital relationships. Essentially, marital communication refers to the manner in which both the verbal and non-verbal information are exchanged between couples. It involves the ability of couples to pay attention to what their spouses think and feel about specific issues that may arise in their lives.... [tags: Interpersonal relationship, Intimate relationship]
840 words (2.4 pages)
- “Half of all marriages end in divorce.” It is a shocking statistic that has been repeated for approximately two decades (Raley, Bumpass, 2003). The rate of divorce is a number that is hard to nail down, and can very greatly when factors like socioeconomic status, age, and level of education are considered. Sixty-eight percent of marriages between people under the age of twenty end in divorce, while forty percent of marriages between college graduates take the same turn (Raley, Bumpass, 2003). This information can sound terrifying to people who do not fall into the categories most likely to see marital success.... [tags: Interpersonal relationship, Family, Marriage]
1367 words (3.9 pages)
- After researching intimacy among couples, it became clear to me that there are many components necessary to make a relationship function smoothly. For the purpose of this paper, romantic relationships are defined as the range of relationships from dating relationships to longer term, committed relationships (when dating does not fit), and non-marital relationships that include sexual activity (Bucklund 2004). The focus of this paper is verbal intimacy and how it moves through stages between new romantic couples.... [tags: Love, Interpersonal relationship, Romance]
1853 words (5.3 pages)
- Throughout the last half of the century, our society has watched the divorce rate of married couples skyrocket to numbers previously not seen. Although their has been a slight decline in divorce rates, “half of first marriages still were expected to dissolve before death.” (Stacy, 15, 1991) Whatever happened to that meaningful exchange of words, “until death do us part,” uttered by the bride and groom to each other on their wedding day. What could have been the cause of such inflated divorce rates.... [tags: essays research papers]
2216 words (6.3 pages)
- To get a general understanding of what interpersonal communication is, let’s break it down. The prefix “inter-” mean between and the suffix “-al” means pertaining to. Interpersonal communication pertains to the communication between people. However, there are many features of interpersonal communication making it more complex, but not difficult. Interpersonal communication is very selective, meaning that the methods and how intimately we choose to communicate with others is completely up to us. Interpersonal communication is also systematic.... [tags: Communication, Interpersonal relationship]
1259 words (3.6 pages)
- From the moment we are born, our days are filled with communication challenges. People who do now know how to communicate properly will limit their efforts to achieve in any aspect of life. We build connections with others by revealing our identities, asking questions, working out problems, listening, remembering and making plans for the future. The area of communication that immediately caught my attention is interpersonal communication. Interpersonal communication is communication between people, usually in a close relationship.... [tags: Interpersonal relationship, Communication]
712 words (2 pages)
- Intimate relationships are a major topic of interest within the study of communication. The relationships we build with others are a central aspect of our lives. When looking at interpersonal relationships, there are many attributes to consider. Intimate and romantic relationships play a vital role in the social, emotional, and physical abilities of an individual. These relationships offer a sense of belonging, while giving a sense of “mattering” to an individual (Mak & Marshall, 2004). An individual can suffer when they lack interpersonal relationships as these relationships can be associated with many health factors.... [tags: Communication, Interpersonal relationship]
1499 words (4.3 pages)
- Chapter three of “Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication” demonstrates a models of “self-disclosure that can help better understand how self-revelation operates in our relationships(pg 87).” By learning about self-disclosure and understanding the models, I was able to understand the effects and process of self- disclosure between my parent and I. It illustrated how self-revealing can be effective in making the relationship between my parents and I stronger and more efficient in understanding one another.... [tags: Interpersonal relationship, Communication]
762 words (2.2 pages)
- Collins, Jordan & Coleman (2012) stated that dysfunctional intergenerational boundaries are commonly present in divorced and in conflict families where one or more children go against one parent. Due to the existence of multiple subsystems in this family, it is evident that the boundaries between the family members are rigid and that the family is disengaged. An example of the specific behavior that demonstrated the existence of disengaged boundary with grandma E, was the relinquishment of her caretaking role as a mother to her first born child to her parents so she could pursue her interests in finding a husband.... [tags: Family, Marriage, Interpersonal relationship]
1282 words (3.7 pages)
- Graphic Representations of the Irish Potato Famine
- Philippine Qualification Framework for Labor
- Orpheus Is the Inspriration for Many Composers
- The Threats and Opportunities from Diversity in the Workplace
- The Advancement of the Australian Fashion Industry
- The Use of Ultrasonic Testing in Condition Monitoring