The Relationship Between A Mother And Mother In Toni Morrison's Beloved

The relationship between a mother and a father, even when the couple had at least some certainty in their ability to stay together, was tenuous. For many, committing to one relationship after slavery required sifting through the baggage of their past lives. Many mothers had children from men long passed out of their lives, like Sethe, and had to look for a new man to support the family and act as a father figure. This was painful -- and risky. Sethe remarks on men that “They encouraged you to put some of your weight in their hands and soon as you felt how light and lovely that was, they studied your scars and tribulations, after which they did what he had done: ran her children out and tore up the house” (Morrison 13). For Sethe, this complaint

The horrors in the mind of the mother just couldn’t be explained to the child through words. When her daughter, whom she had killed, comes back to her as a spirit, Sethe thinks “I 'll tell Beloved about that; she 'll understand. She my daughter” (Morrison 114). But communication is not so easy. Beloved does not understand her mother; she hardly even hears her. What Beloved feels is rage for being taken away, rage for her mother acting rashly against her own will. Ex-slave mothers have experienced many things, but the experiences of slavery don’t necessarily apply to children who will never be in that position. Beloved doesn’t understand because Sethe was acting for herself, not for her child. Hughes portrays a similar interaction through poetry. A mother tells her son, “Don’t you fall now--/ For I’se still goin’, honey,/ I’se still climbin’,/ And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair” (Hughes, “Mother to Son” 17-20). The mother tells her son that she has struggled, and that because she has gone through so many things her son is obligated to carry on. This message to children that they have an obligation to their parents because of their struggles before having children often fell as flat as they did with Beloved. Hughes gives the mother clunky diction and makes her argument of “life for me ain’t been no crystal stair” feel somewhat disconnected from the rest of the poem by its length and its vagueness. He does this to show that even if the mother is right, she doesn’t have a compelling argument to give her children; she is merely playing to her own authority earned through suffering. This difficulty in passing on information that will apply to their children’s new realities was one of the hardest problems (besides material difficulty) that ex-slave parents