Though the majority of intimate relationships entail two individuals committed to one another, one individual tends to embrace a lesser interest in the relationship. This minimized interest could transpire from a vast array of sources, such as lacking intimacy, comparable alternatives, or a lack of emotional connection. According to the text, the “principle of lesser interest holds that in any partnership, the person who has less interest in continuing and maintaining the relationship has more power in that relationship” (Miller, 2012, p. 363). This one-sided power authorizes more of a business relationship, than an intimate relationship. The less committed partner retains the power to dictate the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors of their …show more content…
I faced this theory both through my personal experiences and through my friend and family’s experiences. Personal, I uncover one of the most destructive and tender experiences to subsist as fully devoting yourself to an individual, only to discover that the feelings do not stand mutual, or that they lost feelings. When an individual devotes their absolute self to another individual, they endorse vulnerability – compelling the chance of sanctioning someone to take advantage of them. With recognition of this theory, individuals must take provisions in relationships, as power can stand disparaging. One should love themself before loving another individual, and never sustain unrealistic expectations. We cannot dominate the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors of another individual, so we must value and cherish ourselves.
When detecting my past and current relationships, I determined that I experienced power struggles in intimate relationships. Of the six bases of power enumerated in the text, I resisted against coercive and legitimate power. Coercive power, with a punishment resource, reflects the indication of doing something to an individual that they do not desire, or removing something that they do desire. This coercive power suggests inflicting punishments, or
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Referent power, with a respect resource, elucidates when our partners “adore us and wish to do what we want because they feel connected to us” (Miller, 2012, p. 366). Of the six bases of power, referent power emerges as the most genuine and concerned with intimate relationships. The power does not desire control or authority, but rather emerges from care. While this power can promote complications, if our partner loses their personal wishes and values, it endorses an amorous relationship. Whereas referent power illuminates a respectful and loving power, reward power depends on rewards partners can present to one another that they desire, or take away an undesirable punishment. While this power does not condemn undesirable traits, it rewards the behaviors and thoughts that sanction contentment and gratification. By rewarding a partner when they behave ideally, it stimulates that action’s continuation. We seek rewards, while avoiding punishments. I desire reward power because it affords a manner of exhibiting appreciation and gratification for a partner. Rather than concentrating on negativity, this power relies on the positive outcomes in relationships. Of the six power bases inflicted on intimate relationships, I desire referent and reward power. In my intimate relationships I crave equality, gratification, and respect. Through individualized power in
In the LGBT community, they develop intimate relationships in the same stages as heterosexual couples however they resolve conflicts more positively. Due to them being in a relationship with the same-sex partner, they approach roles in a relationship and marriage using egalitarianism. We all give and receive love differently. Knox & Schacht discuss the different types of loves styles a person’s desires from their relationships such as ludic, pragma, eros, mania, storge, and agape. These different love styles also express how lovers can understand and relate to one
Never become complacent and let my interpersonal relationship becomes stagnant, which can lead to resentment and conflict. Weighing the cost verses the rewards may not always be the solution for my relationship; simply, because the cost may ultimately outweigh the rewards. The need for autonomy can have reverse effects and may not lead to the closeness that’s expected. In, turn the very thing that, I try to be open about in my relationship can inadvertently cause me to protect my feelings in the
The key concept I've chosen for analysis is the practice of love. The practice of love defined in our lecture while we were discussing ‘Cherry’ by Chandra Mayor is when people admire one another. It is when people are able to trust one another with their secrets. It is the ability to trust other people, having mutual respect for one another. The practices of love also defined in our lecture as a sexual passion that is mutual. To get a better understanding of what practices of love is, in Chandra Mayor's book "Cherry" practices of love is displayed when the narrator explains how her significant other admires her and the art piece she created. ‘Tom loves my poems. He thinks they’re beautiful. He says They’re beautiful, you’re beautiful’ (Chandra
In closing, while Ferrer has presented a well thought-out article that has achieved its goal, at least in my case, of opening the reader’s mind to other relationship styles, he does overlook a few areas. Our society is always changing and along with that the way we form relationships. Divorce and inter-racial marriage has become fairly common-place and acceptable, while same-sex marriages are slowly working toward that goal. This shows that people prefer to do what they feel is best for them, and makes them happy, rather then what societal pressures makes them feel they should do. By doing what makes us happy, and what we feel is right, we slowly change societal opinion. You can not please everyone, so you may as well please those that are important to you, as long as you do not harm to others.
It is tempting to believe that when couples say that they are “in love,” they view their love in the same way –that they have successfully “defined their relationship.” Love after all, is the only legitimate reason for marriage in western society and one should at least be on the same page before entering into a perpetual union (Henslin 468). Sociologists like to say that romantic love is composed of two components: sexual attraction (a biological response) and idealization of the other (a societal created response that promotes a bond between two individuals) (Henslin 468). However this is a very simple definition of love because it turns out that romantic love is in the eye of the beholder. Researchers of heterosexual love have ...
Although conflicts subsist inevitable, the degree to which individuals react to the conflict stands well-regulated. While some individuals react with negotiations and agreements, others rely on the power of violence and degradation. According to the text, domestic violence reflects “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner” (Olson, DeFrain, & Skogrand, 2014, p. 427). When contemplating domestic violence, many individual’s minds wander to physical abuse, but domestic abuse subsists far greater, including physical, sexual, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse. In essence, domestic violence reflects any stable, and regulated, behavior dictated on demonstrating superiority and
A developed relationship can be interpreted as one where the couple is interdependent, tolerant, and dedicated. Equity allows a relationship to efficiently develop in this manner. Judith Viorst illustrates a poem depicting a couple’s struggles and their sacrifices for the other in “True Love”. In many points of the poem, the couple is compromising for the other’s flaws in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts. “I do not resent watching the Green Bay Packers / Even though I am philosophically opposed to football” (Stanza 1) is an example of the wife forcing herself
The better which a person develops an understanding of themselves and of the other people around them, the better able they will be able to develop intimate relationships. A person who has a negative model of self and has a negative model of others , otherwise known as Fearful, is going to shy away from attachment and be socially avoidant which obviously is going to affect the crisis of intimacy versus isolation. The example describes a person who is hesitant to make long term commitments and resists urges to display intimacy, but is capable of forming a dependency on him by the other in the relationship. A Preoccupied person has a negative self model and a positive model of others. They often tend to be overly dependent and ambivalent. The example suggests a person who might be shy and conservative but is capable of not displaying their awkward feelings to the other person. A Secure individual has a positive model of self and others. They are comfortable with intimacy and autonomy and often do not have a difficult time in forming intimate relationships. The example describes this person as someone who is very capable of healthy relationships and good communication skills. It seems like a secure person has all the good qualities that any relationship requires. And finally, a Dismissing person has a positive model of self but a negative model of others. They are characterized by denying attachment and their counter dependency. All of the differences among the different models result from past experiences in the individual’s life. How they were raised in terms of different parenting styles and methods of child raising affect an individuals internal working models of self and others.
This reflects most closely the love we see today, a passionate loving relationship with a significant other. As humans, a part of us seems to acknowledge and agree with their viewpoint. There is something special about loving the individual, and not just embracing the individual for their good virtues, but for their entire self. We stand to gain something we cannot otherwise possess by any other means. It seems good to allow our entire being, our senses, emotions, and intellect to be involved in informing us and shaping us. But this love is not without its downfalls. It is filled with many risks, riddled with possibilities of hurt and rejection. It appears to make us act irrationality. We make decisions based on emotions and feelings rather than reason. It often leads to a dependency on the other person, an enslavement, a constant need to be validated and fulfilled through
We as a country and even further a world have found ourselves becoming increasingly more consumed with finding instant gratification in all aspects of this life. This instant gratification does not merely stop in the area of marriage instead it is found more frequently. For example, in areas congruent with marriage, we find a desire for instant happiness, pleasure and joy in most couples. We all want to be loved and show love, love is the embedded in our DNA, whether we are actively seeking it or not. I believe this proposes problems in the relationship aspect of life, if we seek instant gratification in something as important as love we only are destroying the word entirely. Love is a process and in most cases we rush the process, which can lead to divorce because one or both members of the marriage are not entirely committed or do not understand the commitment. Secondly, in a situation where the marriage is already established there comes a point where we can become not content in our current state and seek something “better” to fulfill our “needs...
Relationships between two people can have a strong bond and through poetry can have an everlasting life. The relationship can be between a mother and a child, a man and a woman, or of one person reaching out to their love. No matter what kind of relationship there is, the bond between the two people is shown through literary devices to enhance the romantic impression upon the reader. Through Dudley Randall’s “Ballad of Birmingham,” Ben Jonson’s “To Celia,” and William Shakespeare’s “Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?” relationships are viewed as a powerful bond, an everlasting love, and even a romantic hymn.
This standard looks at whether or not the theory opens up a new perspective that is uniquely human. When trying to understand the laws that govern relationships, Baxter and Montgomery looked at many relationships and found that there were contradictions, different expectations, and several other misconceptions. This led the...
When you turn fourteen or fifteen you are usually entering your freshman year of high school. The transition from middle school to high school can be challenging: there are kids that are older and more intimidating. Some students struggle to find their place and also struggle with their interpersonal relationships. Similarly, when you turn eighteen or nineteen you may go off to college. The same feelings from four years ago come up again: you are thrown into a mix of people from all over the country, all of them are older and seem more intimidating. Finding those interpersonal relationships can be a challenge because being in a new environment, on your own, is overwhelming. In these years, media and social media become a focal point for many
Perel explains how the culture we live in now withholds different expectations for love in individualistic societies. (Perel, 0:53) This connects to what we learned in the love chapter. We learned that in western cultures, there is an overall focus on “attraction and matching” and the expectation that they will live “happily ever after” with their partner. (Clark, 2015a) These are the expectations Perel is referring to which individualistic societies now rely on in forming their concept for what love should be like in relationships. These expectations however, may also be impacted by interdependency and our compassion level. For example, comparison level “describes the value of the outcomes that we believe we deserve in our dealings with others.” (Miller, 2012, Interdependency, p.176) Our prior events that we have experienced may serve to explain why individuals have these high expectations, especially since the current culture we live. Perel mentions that couples commonly tend to bring up the fact that they want more sex (Perel, 10:37), which in the sexuality chapter we learned that sexual desire and frequency has different factors that are taken into account. For example, comparison level is overall an important aspect to consider here and rather than “evaluating how often they have sex or the degree to which they disagree about sex,” couples should instead
Intimate relationships are a lot of times used for one’s personal needs. Relationships are being created with significant others for many different reason. I have never experienced being in a relationship for the wrong reasons, so I cannot talk much about this. However I can tell you a common issue I personally notice in today’s relationship struggling is the partners don’t talk about their feelings with one another. “Difficulty articulating what you feel; many adults don’t know to express what they feel. Instead, you communicate what you think” (Sachs, 2005). I believe this statement has a lot of truth to it because a lot of couples will not talk things out hoping that they will reside, when in reality that doesn’t happen. Tony and I could definitely work on this factor in our relationship, I have a hard time opening up and telling him my feelings about stuff that may be going on. Tony is really good about telling me how he feels at any time. I struggle with this because I push it off not hoping it will reside but because I feel like it is something I will get over and move on with. This is something we both are willing to work on and it will take time to accomplish