How strange the things that reach in and touch the heart. Sometimes the tears spring unbidden from some deep and secret place in my soul. And anguish sweeps across me just as the breeze sweeps across the desolate prairie. I don't know from where these feelings come. I only understand how powerful and consuming they are. And yet somehow out of this comes renewal. A reaffirming that even through all of my faults and all of my imperfections, I still care. I still love. And through this realization the tenderness that lives within is reborn if only for a little while longer. Such started the morning in which I looked into the mirror to see this young man whom I didn't really know. His blue eyes staring back at me. A body, a man, a shy secluded young man with a scar on his left eyebrow.
"This morning I roused from a fitful sleep. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, always the first ritual of the morning. I stood there brushing away and glanced up at the man staring back at me as though he didn't know who I was. The moment was very disconcerting. The glance slowly lengthened into an incredibly intense stare."
Finally, to break the unbearable silence that hung uncomfortably between, words seemed to tumble from my lips. "Who are you? What has made you who you are?"
I decided that maybe I needed to examine these questions and the questioner as well. What are the burdens that weigh upon you? Where are the scars of the battles you've fought? Which ones did you win and which ones were lost? Do you realize that the very question is faulty? All battles that you fight are won, not singularly because of the experience you gain from them, but also because you chose to take on the obstacle, to tackle the problem and...
... middle of paper ...
...nd the moon, full and beautiful, stares down at me with its silvery gaze. It winks as the misty clouds pass infront of it. Do you see it, my love? I want you. I need you. I have so many things I want to share. As I sit here on my bed, I can imagine the twinkling smile in your eyes. I can already see your beautiful smile and it comforts me.
My life isn't empty, quite the opposite in fact, but it lacks a special and arguably integral component. How precious it must be to see your own soul reflected back at you in someone else's eyes. What does fate have in store for me?
As I ask this question, the realization comes to me that perhaps I should not have the answer. Maybe the more important realization is that you should not put your expectations on what life ought to be, but rather allow it to flow naturally to you and appreciate it for the surprises it brings.
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