Humorous Best Man Speech
The hotel management have asked me to ask you not to stand on the tables or chairs during the standing ovation at the end of my speech.
Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last, and the general response was about as long as it takes the groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience. (Sit and then get back up)
I think an introduction is worthwhile. For those of you who do not yet know me my name is Whatwouldvouliketodrink. I hope as many of you will come and say hello at the bar later, but I do insist you use my full name.
At this point I would like to thank the groom for his kind words. I would also like to add my own appreciation. I think you'll all agree the bridesmaids both look lovely today in their dresses and I know the bride wants me to thank them for the help they have provided, not only today but in the weeks and months leading up to the wedding. I would like to propose a toast. Ladies and gentlemen, the bridesmaids.
I'm sure a number of the guys here today have been a best man at a wedding before, but I wonder how many of you have ever received written guidelines from the bride to be. I would like to read you an e-mail that the bride sent me prior to the wedding. (Produce e-mail)
Wouldyoulikeanotherdrink (Remember that is my name)
I was very pleased when you were asked to be best man at our wedding. I have known you for some time now and I cannot think of anybody more charismatic, intelligent, better looking or downright sexy than you to fulfill this crucial role on our big day.
As we get close to the wedding day, most tasks have been...
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...tion?" Big & Bouncy magazine.)
Obviously my toasts are going to focus on the most important people here today. The people we all feel a great love for and without whom today wouldn't be possible. At some stage in the evening I’m sure we will all be sharing with them our thoughts from this special day and giving them our love and best wishes so I would like to propose a toast to: the bar staff.
Now the real version. I would like to thank the groom for asking me to be his best man. It has been a pleasure helping them prepare for today. For all the banter that has passed between us it should be fairy obvious that we are the best of mates. I am going to finish now by asking you to join me in wishing them many years of happiness. Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom. That's the end of my speech. I am sure you will be as glad as me that there is no more.
The authors of the Virginia Declaration of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Paine’s Common Sense and the United States Constitution pulled from many different sources during the infancy of these invaluable documents. They used pieces such as Hobbes’ Leviathan, Locke’s Second Treatise on Government, Rousseau’s Of The Social Contract, and Montesquieu’s The Spirit of the Laws as inspiration for America’s fundamental government. Each of these influential political philosophers were instrumental in making our government what it is today. Hobbes brought the ideas of natural equality, a strong, powerful government, and the principle that governments must be able to protect the people to American political philosophy. Locke added that
Bertram, Christopher, "Jean Jacques Rousseau", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Winter 2012 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.)
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Steve and this is my partner in crime, Scot. We are the best men today, famed for our double act. Some people may even say we were artists, but I think you'll all realize what kind of artists we are later on this evening.
It is easier to describe what is not freedom, in the eyes of Rousseau and Marx, than it would be to say what it is. For Rousseau, his concept of freedom cannot exist so long as a human being holds power over others, for this is counter to nature. People lack freedom because they are constantly under the power of others, whether that be the tyrannical rule of a single king or the seething majority which can stifle liberty just as effectively. To be truly free, says Rousseau, there has to be a synchronization of perfect in...
Best man 1: Good evening everyone. I must warn you we are both pretty nervous about doing this speech. We have spent many a night awake, trying plan it to no avail. We were both so nervous about doing this speech we asked the groom for some advice on how to prepare for talking to a large audience.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I start my speech by welcoming the guests. Today, we are surrounded by most of the friends and family that have been important to us during our lives. Some have traveled thousands of miles, just to be here today. We welcome you all and thank you sincerely for sharing this special day with us.
So now I come to my final wedding day duty which isn’t a duty really – it’s a real pleasure: on behalf of the bridesmaids and myself I sincerely wish you, Daniel, and your lovely wife, Kim, everlasting love and happiness!
Firstly, each individual should give themselves up unconditionally to the general cause of the state. Secondly, by doing so, all individuals and their possessions are protected, to the greatest extent possible by the republic or body politic. Lastly, all individuals should then act freely and of their own free will. Rousseau thinks th...
Finally, on behalf of the bride and groom I would like to thank everyone for sharing their special day, it is a true millstone - sorry milestone in their lives. On behalf of myself I wish you'd all stayed at home - as things would have been a lot easier on me. I started planning this speech about 5 months ago and I expect you all feel like I've been delivering it equally as long. But now it gives me immense pleasure (not to mention relief) to invite you to all stand and raise your glasses in a toast to John and Angie. To love, laughter and happily ever after. To John and Angie CONGRATULATIONS
Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank the groom for his kind words, and I have to say they have done an excellent job today and look absolutely wonderful.
Now I was a bit unsure about the duties of a best man, although I told Brian very early on that there was no way I was going to get off with a bridesmaid – I say that with no offence intended to Claire and Nicola who I’m sure you’ll all agree look lovely, and have done a great job today. So to find out what was expected of me, I turned to the internet and managed to find some really interesting stuff… but then remembered what I had gone onto it for in the first place, and set about plagiarising other people’s speeches from all the wedding sites I could find. So I accept no responsibility if this end result is rubbish. I know many of you will have been to a few weddings in your time, so can I suggest that you entertain yourselves quietly by playing wedding bingo – every time you hear a witty comment in my speech that you have already heard at another wedding, give yourself a point and the first one to five wins a piece of wedding cake.
Good Evening! For those of you who don?t know me, I?m Charlotte, the very proud sister of our glamorous Bride. I want to start by congratulating Kari and Ernest, and thanking all of you for coming here today.
Rousseau's society has a very controlling government with a lot of power that could be damaging if given to the wrong p...
Sex and gender are terms that are mixed up from day to day and seen as similarities rather than differences. Sex is what distinguishes people from being either male or female. It is the natural or biological variations between males and females (Browne, 1998). Some of these variations are genitals, body hair and internal and external organs. It is the make-up of chromosomes, men have one X and one Y chromosome and women have two X chromosomes, these are responsible for primary characteristics (Fulcher and Scott, 2003). Gender on the other hand refers to the sociological differences between male and female. This is teaching males and females to behave in various ways due to socialisation (Browne, 1998). Example: masculinity and femininity. Girls are supposed to show their femininity by being non-competitive, sensitive, dependent, attractive and placid. If and when some girls don’t succeed in keeping this image they will be referred to as a tomboy. On the other hand, boys show their masculinity through aggression, physical strength...
(To the groom) Firstly, and most importantly, you've made me so happy since we met two years ago and today is the happiest day of my life. Thank you for making my life complete. Knowing your track record at either missing weddings or forgetting (or losing) your suit, I should also thank you for turning up at the wedding (eventually!) where we me, and, more importantly, thank you for getting to the church on time today and in your suit.