Thank you for your kind words, I am very proud to be your son-in-law; I hope I can live up to your expectations. I would sincerely like to thank you for welcoming me into your family, for bringing up such a lovely daughter, and for giving me your blessing to marry her.
In addition. due to the number of phone calls between my wife and her mom, the phone company would also like to thank you both.
On this date in history in 1889 the Boer War ended, and maybe after my speech you'll think it's started again, although this day will go down in history as the day you all heard the best ever speech. It will be read shortly by one of my best men.
It is said that a great speech has a good beginning, a good ending, and most importantly, the two are as close together as possible.
(Have a thick wad of paper in hand)
(Unfold notes, pause, and smile at all tables)
That, of course, was a cracker of a speech of my own worked out for you today, but as I am now married, my wife has handed this to me to read instead. (To the father-in-law) By the way, I haven't forgotten, I'll sign that receipt for you (Produce bit of paper with the writing on saying)
Received, one daughter in perfect condition, full- guaranteed. Care note: gets bored easily keep busy with constant supply of chores. Comes complete with all extras. (My favorite’s the nurse’s uniform).
Not to be outdone though my dad also has a receipt for my wife to sign. It reads: (Again, pull out anothier bit of paper)
Received, one son, sold as seen, no refunds under any circumstances. We've redecorated the room and changed the locks so you're stuck with him. Care Notes: dehydrates easily, top up regularly with b...
... middle of paper ...
...ccasion for both my parents who, as well as putting up with me and pointing me in the right direction, have
prepared me well, supported me through my life and taught me the difference between right and wrong, so as that I know which I am enjoying at any given time!
A Final and big thankyou goes to our bridesmaids who looked lovely and I thank them all for doing such a wonderful job today. (Give them gifts)
Ladies and Gentlemen, please stand. I would like to propose a toast to the bridesmaids.
Well, I could stand here and give you a load more stale old jokes. but instead I think I’ll leave that to one of my best men who has cut his speech by quite a lot so as not to be Tottenham's first case of foot in mouth disease, just remember he's never been one to let the truth get in the way of a good story. Ladies and gentlemen, the best man.
Need Writing Help?
Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.Check your paper »
- Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom The groom has used the wedding date as a source for funny lines, comparing their marriage with celebrity couples for comic effect. While preparing this speech I thought it would be interesting to see if any celebrity couples had been married on the same day as us. Paul Simon and Carrie Fisher wed in 1983...and split up after 9 months. Oh dear. Also, Madonna married Sean Penn on this day in 1985; and we all know the outcome of that. Unlike the latter, while Lisa is "Like A Virgin," I plan to "Cherish" her forever and I am not afraid to 'Justify My Love." There's always the "Hanky Panky" to look forward to.... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
546 words (1.6 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom It is apparent from the opening few lines of this speech that the groom has an excellent relationship with the bride's parents and this can be really useful, not just in the future, for obvious reasons, but it can also make the speech more humorous. This speech is also a good example of using events in history that happened on the same date as a source of humor. Thank you for those lovely words. I'd like to remind you that you're not so much losing a daughter, but regaining three closets (wardrobes).... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
966 words (2.8 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom Thank you for your kind words, I am very proud to be your son-in-law; I hope I can live up to your expectations. I would sincerely like to thank you for welcoming me into your family, for bringing up such a lovely daughter, and for giving me your blessing to marry her. In addition. due to the number of phone calls between my wife and her mom, the phone company would also like to thank you both. On this date in history in 1889 the Boer War ended, and maybe after my speech you'll think it's started again, although this day will go down in history as the day you all heard the best ever speech.... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
885 words (2.5 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech for a Groom in Sales Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - Today, I'd like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to a man who personifies intelligence, ambition, tact, generosity, and integrity. But it is John’s wedding so it's only fair that I talk about him as well. Laughter Now, I only met John a few years ago at university, meaning that I’ve had to rely on him perhaps more than I would have liked to get the details of his past. But apparently, the young John Cervoni was an exceptionally gifted child.... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
645 words (1.8 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. I would first like to thank you all for coming today and helping to make Marcus and Adrian's wedding such a memorable and special occasion. Personally, I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my job less nerve wracking. When I was asked to be in the wedding party I decided that I needed to know what the role entailed. I have now read several books, and all of them include a last minute checklist to guarantee a smooth wedding.... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
760 words (2.2 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must admit, I am more nervous about participating in this wedding than I was as the groom (bridegroom) at my own wedding. Maybe it's because I have been married thirty years and I know what my son is getting himself in to. Joking aside, I've had a wonderful marriage and I would like to remind David and Arba that it's a serious business, and shouldn't be entered into lightly - although, at his weight, my son certainly isn't doing that.... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
569 words (1.6 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you to this joyous and stressful occasion. You know, while I was watching my son and future daughter-in-law suffer through the painful process of planning their wedding, I asked myself, “What would it be like if men were responsible for organizing weddings?” I’m guessing that my son might rename the "Rehearsal Dinner" to the "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger". The invitations would not read “Gracious dinning from 7 to 10” but rather, “Raucous Drinking from 7 until the cops show up.” Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops – with more skin showing tha... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
473 words (1.4 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech for a Sister of the Groom Ladies and Gentlemen you'll be pleased to know I am only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat..... if I go on too long Angie has threatened to cut it. However, before I begin, on behalf of John and Angie I would like to thank everyone who has helped to make this the special day that it is - and I think we can all agree it has been splendid so far. Well, I knew it would be difficult to follow a speech made by John and I was right ....... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
929 words (2.7 pages)
- Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I am the groom's father, Ken, and I have the great privilege of being best man. I have recently found out there are two reasons why J W asked me to do this job. 1) To make him look younger and slimmer in the photos. 2) Because he didn't want to burden any of his friends with the terrible prospect of having to give this speech. It's the speech that no one wants to do. The best man doesn't really know what he's expected to say and yet his speech is supposed to be humorous - but it might not be.... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
985 words (2.8 pages)
- Humorous and Casual Wedding Speech by the Groom They say marriage is an institution and therefore, it seems proper that I am about to be married since some of you have been saying I should have been institutionalized for years. Some of you may be concerned as to whether I am actually prepared marriage, but I want to assure you that I am fully aware of the changes that marriage will bring and to this end I have prepared a small list. 1. I understand that my rights to have a say in matters pertaining to decorating are revoked.... [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]
486 words (1.4 pages)