Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom

Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Robert.

As they were speaking just now, it struck me how much David and his new father-in-law now have in common. After all, it's the first time in 25 years that Arthur has been able to speak for 10 minutes without interruption from the women in his family. And it'll be the last time in 25 years that David gets to do the same. So I sincerely hope he treasures this moment.

But it is great to finally see David with a ring on his finger as he learned a long time ago that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. So Pamela, was it the 101 red roses he sent to your office that made you give in?

However, before Pamela accepted David's proposal of marriage, she wanted to clarify a few things. In particular, she wanted to limit the amount of football he was watching on TV. Well, thank goodness they managed to sort it out. In the end, David agreed that he would stop watching any game as soon as the last goal was scored.

So there can be no argument about who’ll be wearing the trousers in David and Pamela’s house. David will be wearing them - right under his apron. You see, Pamela has already started to train David well - and it may surprise some of you to hear that she didn't have to start by showing him where the kitchen was. She actually had to explain to h...

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... approaches marriage with the same team spirit he’s demonstrated in all the things we’ve done together, he is sure to make a success of it. Ever since I’ve know him he’s been an unselfish team player, whether it was cub scouts, football or on adventure holidays. His commitment and determination are probably what Pamela saw first in him… that and his money.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's an honour to be standing here as David’s best man. I suppose I should actually say it's an honour and a pleasure, but I know the pleasure won’t kick in until this speech part is over.

So let’s hurry up and toast the bride and groom. To David and Pamela - may the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out.