Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen.
I would first like to thank you all for coming today and helping to make Marcus and Adrian's wedding such a memorable and special occasion. Personally, I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my job less nerve wracking.
When I was asked to be in the wedding party I decided that I needed to know what the role entailed. I have now read several books, and all of them include a last minute checklist to guarantee a smooth wedding. So, to give you a feel for the pressure I’ve been under, here are some of the things I’ve had to remember from my checklist:
1) See that all ex-girlfriends are kept at bay.
Now then, Marcus discovered girls a lot earlier than I did, because while I was worrying about English exams, he was copying my work, leaving him free to pursue girls to his heart's content. Put it this way - he'd discovered bike sheds before I even knew what bikes were. But, there is no chance of seeing any of his ex’s tonight because I understand that they are all out celebrating, which has denied us some quality entertainment as a result.
2) Bring a credit card for the payments that the groom may have forgotten.
So far, Marcus owes me £650 ($400) - which reminds me, this wedding nearly didn’t go ahead! The hotel manager was getting concerned as he hadn’t received the deposit. Thankfully, Marcus assured him that he...
... middle of paper ...
...reach the bride and groom's home.
So, if you would like to place all of the gifts that you have brought with you, (particularly the valuable ones), in the back of the green rental van, registration S653 GFR, I will personally ensure that they receive them. I promise.
So that’s what my role entailed. Of course, I also have the honour of proposing a toast to the bride and groom. But, before I do that, let me first say, Marcus, you’ve been an excellent friend to be since I met you twelve years ago and Adrian, you look stunning today and getting to know you has been a real pleasure.
Ladies and gentlemen, please could you now raise your glasses in a toast to the bride and groom.
To Adrian and Marcus.
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