Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the bridesmaids, I must thank Donald for his kind words. I must also thank all of you for coming today - I know how hard it is to get a day release.
As Donald’s lighter brother – sorry, I meant little brother, which is simply a reference to the fact that he is older than I am, and nothing else – I would also like to welcome Liz into the family. I think you’ll find the Endeans to be a warm and open family - but never play cards with any of us.
Historically, June is the traditional month to marry, and these origins actually date back to medieval times when people only properly bathed once a year, typically during May when the weather improved. It’s true. June therefore became a popular marriage time, mainly because that's when people smelled their best. And if you know Donald at all, you’ll believe why June is a good month for him to marry as well. And if you don’t know him, just take it from someone who shared a bunk bed with him for 4 years.
As Donald’s younger brother, it’s wonderful for me to be doing this job today. And, in being asked by Donald to be best man, I think it’s an admission from him that I am the best person and therefore the best son. So, in my role as best son, I’d like to inform my mother and father that it was not me who drove your car into the side of the house. It was not me who broke th...
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...ternoon - that’s for Liz later on this evening.
Donald, you are an extremely lucky man to have met Liz, and I’m slightly dumbfounded as to how you persuaded her to agree to marry you. But I’m delighted that you did. And Liz, it is a wonderful pleasure to welcome you to our family today.
And whilst I continue on this uncharacteristically sincere note, I'd like to express my heartfelt congratulations to you both, and to thank you for choosing me as best man. You may well now regret it, but of course – it’s too late.
Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to my brother, Donald, and his new wife, Liz – to the new Mr and Mrs Endean.
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