Essay on Best Man Wedding Speech with Many Jokes

Essay on Best Man Wedding Speech with Many Jokes

Length: 1200 words (3.4 double-spaced pages)

Rating: Good Essays

Open Document

Essay Preview

Best Man Wedding Speech with Many Jokes


The moment has arrived?.
its time for a little character assassination?..
and as Kyle best man?..
its my opportunity to slate him.

Although,
as Henry the Eighth said to each of his wives?..
I wont keep you long

Having never done this before, I really didn?t know how long my speech should last
General opinion suggests it should last about as long as it takes the groom to make love, so?..
(hand gesture)
Thank you and good night.

If only I was joking.

When Kyle first asked me to be his best man, I thought it would be a terrific honour,
But, as time has gone by I?ve realised that being best man is alot like making love to princess Ann,
it?s a great honour, but you wish to god someone else was doing it.

About Groom
Now, all the books tell me I shouldn?t just slate him?
which makes it difficult,
I must tell you a bit about him, and mention his good points as well (I?m told)

Kyle was born on

In the same year?..
British Decimal Coins were introduced
The first Kodak Instamatic camera was produced
The boing 747 and concorde made their first flights?
Test tube fertilisation of human egg. and
Scientists designed the epidural injection to ease the pain of child birth, fascinating

Interestingly enough, in September 1968, soon after Kyle was born, family planning soon became widely available

Believe it or not Kyle did go to school, bu...


... middle of paper ...


...es and gentlemen Id like you to raise your glasses??to the bar staff!

Being serious for one moment we should not forget the new Mr & Mrs (C).
To you both I say?..

May your love be modern enough to survive the times?. and old fashioned enough to last forever.

Today is a day when each of us wishes the happy couple well. Being human (and living with Kyle) they will have their disagreements. Life being what it is, there will be sad moments as well as glad. Yet I know that tonight, we are all wishing them happiness and health in those years to come.

And so my last task (before I can really enjoy a drink)
is to propose a toast

will you all please raise your glasses to the new Mr & Mrs ___________

Need Writing Help?

Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.

Check your paper »

Wedding Speech – Best Man

- Wedding Speech – Best Man Before I begin with Leon’s character assassination, I should probably introduce myself, as a lot of you don’t know me…my name is Andy. My full name is actually Andy WhatcanIgetyou. For those of you who I meet in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could Use my full name. I’d also like to remind you, that the more you laugh at my gags the faster my speech will be delivered…so it’s in your own best interest… I think being a best man can be a very nerve racking experience…(pause)… if there’s one person here this afternoon feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy about what lies ahead….then it’s probably because you’ve just married Leon....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
793 words (2.3 pages)

Best Man Wedding Speech

- Best Man Wedding Speech Good Evening everybody...I hope you are all enjoying everything so far...My name is Frank Levy, and I am Rick's Best Man for the evening. I happened to find out that there was a pool going on as to how long my Best Man's speech was going to be, and I was the only one who bought in at 60 minutes, so you might as well all just relax, sit back and enjoy the ride. When Rick first asked me to be a "Best Man", I wasn't really sure what my responsibilities were suppossed to be....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
515 words (1.5 pages)

Best Man Wedding Speech

- Best Man Wedding Speech Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – I'd like to start by saying that what a genuine honor it is to be part of Rick's wedding. Rick certainly is handsome tonight, with his fine rented tux and shoes. On a gala evening such as this, you may find it hard to believe that Rick has not always been so handsome. The truth is, Rick was so ugly at birth, the doctor slapped his mother. The nurses were no more sympathetic, they diapered poor little Rick’s face. The fact is, his parents were so embarrassed of Rick that they borrowed another baby for the baptism ceremony....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
526 words (1.5 pages)

Best Man Wedding Speech

- Best Man Wedding Speech This is the first time Kevin's ever brought me dinner and I?m too nervous to eat it. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Kevin's younger brother and my full name is Bobby What are you drinking, so if you see me at the bar later don't hesitate to call me by my full name. Unfortunately every silver lining does have A cloud, and that is that you've all got to listen to me for the next 5 minutes. I'd just like to thank Kevin on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind words I think you will all agree that they have done a fantastic job today and look absolutely beautiful....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
1339 words (3.8 pages)

Best Man Wedding Speech

- Best Man Wedding Speech Well to be honest Steven I thought you would have spoken for longer today….. as that was probably your last opportunity to speak for any length of time without interruption. Not that I’m saying Ellen talks a lot. Afternoon everybody…..or is it evening….. seems so long ago that we started these proceedings…. For those of you that do not know me my name is Mark Although I’m sure you’ll have a few other names for me after I’ve finished this…. Although BIG NOSE is a little obvious....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
2579 words (7.4 pages)

Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man

- Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred. Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniel's best man today. So let me tell you about all those best man duties that originally concerned me, because I was immediately stumped by the first one: ‘ensure that the groom’s face and hair are in order.’ Well Daniel, I have to say that if nature didn't get...   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
695 words (2 pages)

Humorous Wedding Speech – Best Man

- Humorous Wedding Speech – Best Man Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I would like to start by thanking Steve for saying such nice things about me during his speech, though I must admit, I did deserve them. I mean, where would a bridegroom be without his best man. The friend at hand when he couldn’t find the rings. The reassuring voice in his ear when it looked like it might rain. And the chaperone who persuaded him to leave the strip club last night. Actually, I believe it was this morning. I think we all agree that Linda looks fantastic today, a number one hit if ever there was one....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Free Essays
733 words (2.1 pages)

Best Man Wedding Speech (Roast)

- Best Man Wedding Speech Ladies and Gentlemen, It's time for me to make a speech now and quite frankly, there's not a lot you can do about that. Well, if there's anybody here this evening who feels strangely nervous and apprehensive, it's probably because you just went and married Bill Meyers. Sorry Lacy - It's too late now. You're stuck with him. When it comes to Best Man's speeches there are some things in the interests of good taste, which are better left unsaid.....well, I'm here to say them....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
576 words (1.6 pages)

Wedding Speech – Best Man

- Wedding Speeches – Best Man Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, for those who don’t know me my name is Alan and unfortunately for you, today, I am Rob’s Best Man. To begin with I would like to thank the Bridesmaids Jess and Emma, I am sure you will all agree they both look lovely and have done a grand job today, well done ladies. And I’d like to thank the Ushers, Rowan and Lloyd for their splendid work, nice one lads. Last but not least I’d like to thank you all on behalf of the Bride and Groom for being here and sharing this special day....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
593 words (1.7 pages)

Wedding Reception Speech – Best Man

- Wedding Reception Speech – Best Man Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure you’ll all agree it’s been a fantastic day so far, but unfortunately for every silver lining there’s a cloud, and I’m yours. For those of you that haven’t bought me a drink yet, I’m Simon and I’ve been sentenced to being Randy’s best man today. It’s said that, being asked to be best man is one of the greatest honours you can be given, on the other hand it’s also one of the most terrible things you can do to a friend, so thank you Randy....   [tags: Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeches]

Good Essays
1909 words (5.5 pages)