Beep! Beep! Beep!
That damned alarm, the most hated of Joe’s possessions, began its insistent whining at precisely 7:15 AM on July 5th. A fist groggily snaked out from underneath the Charlie’s Angels blanket and hit the top of the clock. It stopped whining. After some very peculiar movements, the mound of blankets gave birth to a bleary-eyed seventeen-year-old boy. The inhuman apparition staggered towards the bathroom. It paused when it came upon the mirror, seemingly startled by the ghastly visage reflected in the honest glass. Joe groaned, swore, spat and returned to the place affectionately called "The Pit" by the rest of the family.
He visited the bathroom an hour later, reemerging looking considerably more human than the thing previously spotted. He was wearing a smart, but casual, luminous green shirt and bright blue jeans. He looked like something from the nightmares of the Jolly Green Giant. Citrus colored and smelling like soap, Joe ambled slowly downstairs for his breakfast.
Joe met up with his best friend Ross at around twelve, just outside McDonalds. As was the custom by this time, both argued over whose turn it was to pay for the food, resolved, as ever by the tossing of a coin. As they munched on their soggy Big Mac burgers, their conversation steered towards the party that night.
"You goin' then?"
"Aye, widnae miss it fur onythin' in the world. Anyhow, Martine's gonnae be there, mebbes I'll hae a chance wi' her this time."
"Aye, Ross, and my bum's jist swallied China."
"Ah thought ye were lookin' a bit heavier that usual, but ah wis too polite tae mention it." At this, the two friends collapsed in fits of laughter, not even stopping when Ross began to choke on h...
... middle of paper ...
...Joe looked apologetically at Sam. She nodded, a resigned smile upon her lips.
"Yeah, I know. You've got to help your friend. It's OK. I understand. I'll see you later. Give me a call sometime." With that, Joe took the dumbstruck Ross by the arm and gently led him out of the door.
As they walked home, the two friends reflected upon the night's events.
"Ye should have seen your face, Ross! Ye were like a wean caught stealin' a sweetie!"
"Yeah," answered Ross, sadly, "But it wis a' goin' so well up tae then."
"Talk tae her the morra, explain whit happened. If she's worth it, then she'll gie ye another chance."
"Aye," interrupted Ross, a cheeky grin on his face, "And if she isnae, at least I got tae feel her ar-"
The two friends laughed their way down the darkened, but familiar, old streets. It looked like the holidays were going to be a lot of fun.
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