Personal Narrative- The Dieting Cycle

It was about 1:30 AM. "Well, its time to hit the sack," I thought. I had had a really long day. I had been in school since 8 AM and I was truly exhausted.

God I hated Mondays! Three classes, four hours of work, and then a night class where even the walls attempted to escape the boredom of the lectures. I wondered how I was able to do this every week. I laughed and thought, "I must have a lot of patience..."

I quickly changed into my favorite pajamas - sweats and a tee- and I began to brush my teeth. As I washed my face to eliminate the dirt and grime of a hard days work, I caught myself staring into the mirror. I said to myself, "Gosh, I look horrible today." My hair seemed so dull, so bland. My face looked so pale, so white. My eyes were surrounded by a purplish blue coloring, the same coloring that I had attempted to hide that same morning with my makeup. My eye lids felt like they weighed a ton. "Damn! Mondays are really starting to wear me down. I got to start getting some rest." But that was not it, and I knew it. I lied to myself so that I would feel at ease and calm, but deep down inside I knew why I looked the way that I did. It wasn't my hectic schedule and it wasn't the lighting of the mirror. It was my relentless battle that I fought day and night with no chance of victory.

As I entered my bedroom, I immediately pulled down the covers and laid my body to rest. My spine hit hard against the rings within my mattress and I was in pain. "Ouch! That hurts like hell! When am I finally going to get a mattress that is actually soft and comfortable and that doesn't dig into my back." But the mattress wasn't the problem. I had used that mattress for years and it never once gave me a problem. But now things were diff...

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... was now past 2:00 AM. I had wasted more than half an hour walking to and from the kitchen debating whether or not I should or should not eat. This was ridiculous. "Tomorrow I start fresh," I said. I will eat lunch and dinner. I will start trying to get my life back together. I felt at ease and was comforted by the thoughts of living a normal life again. Deep down inside, however, I knew damn well that tomorrow would be no different than today. I knew that I would start the day worrying about how I looked and how much weight I had gained. Then I would spend the day dieting and not eating a thing. Then at night I would flip out and tell myself that I would try harder the next day to make things right. It was an endless cycle that just went on and on. I prayed that it would stop, but I feared that it was too late. I had gone too far and now there was no turning back.