An authority figure - a teacher, a counselor - joins us, nodding slightly to my companion. At that she wanders off toward her class but not before embracing me a final time and reminding me to call her the moment I get home. I am left with the counselor who begins to question me as to why I am sobbing. Am I having problems at home? Am I doing well at school? Am I in a fight with one of my friends? The answers role off my tongue - no, no, no. A pause followed the most difficult question. "Why then are you crying?" "I have depression," comes my shaky reply. Now the interrogation begins. Am I taking drugs? Have I thought about death? Am I planning suicide? It's my turn to answer again -no, yes, no. They speak with me about the situation at length, swearing that it won't always be this way. Despite the nausea that accompanies these incidents, I plaster a smile on my face. The remaining tears are swept away with the back of my hand. I drift to my classroom, berating myself for being weak. I do not want to cry anymore, not around those who cannot or will not try to understand what I am experiencing. Why can't they see how much this hurts, how it won't...
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.... In doing so, students will be given the chance to speak with peers who are in similar situations; without such support groups, many students would have no one to turn to, as it can be incredibly uncomfortable speaking with friends or parents about this issue.
I do not want to be in emotional agony for the rest of my life, though it is a possibility. I do not want to seem weak in front of those who will not try to relate. I do not want to be afraid to tell people that I have depression, that I am on tricyclics, that I visit a psychologist regularly. More than anything else, I do not want to lose any of my friends who may have depression, to suicide. What I ask for is not unreasonable; what I wish is merely a haven where I may weep without fear of ridicule, a sanctuary where I may help others who must face the same horrid despondency that I have felt.
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