"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."
They were somewhere around Keswick on the edge of Derwent Water when
the drugs began to take hold.
The Red Shark raced down the A591 at a hundred miles an hour. The
Stones' "Jumping Jack Flash" blared. At the wheel, strangely still and
tense, Raoul Duke drove - skeletal, beer in hand - stared straight
ahead. Beside him, face turned towards the sun, eyes closed behind
wraparound Spanish sunglasses, is his swarthy and unnervingly
unpredictable attorney, Dr Gonzo.
The music pounded, Duke stares straight ahead. Gonzo froths up a can
of beer - uses it as shaving foam. "I remember saying something like:
"I feel a bit light-headed. Maybe you should drive..."
Suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full
of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving
around the car... and a voice was screaming: "Jesus Christ! What are
these goddamn animals?"
No point mentioning these bats I thought. The poor fiend will see them
Duke hopped out of the car, keeping an eye out for bats, frantically
opens the trunk to reveal what looks like a mobile police narcotics
lab. Duke desperately rifles through the impressive stash.
"We had two bags of grass, seventy- five pellets of mescaline, five
sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of
cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi- coloured uppers, downers, screamers,
laughers... Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a
pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls".
The Red Shark raced off into the distance...on ...
... middle of paper ...
...this racing spectacle, both me
and my attorney were now ready for anything, apart from the hotel bill
and missing boat from the mansion, but minor details like that didn't
seem to matter anymore, for us - it was just a simple matter of
getting home safely and un-identified by any hotel staff and police
And so there it was, my own take and personal experience from the
greatest sporting feat and nicest beauty spot in England, while
accompanied by my faithful attorney.
The Red Shark now made its way back to Glasgow, to catch a plane back
to New Zealand, only to start on the second round of this fabulous
But remember, next time you stop in the Borrowdale Hotel - room 13B,
be sure to have a drink or maybe a little adrenochrome for sporting
press of this world, namely Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo.
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