He Says, She Says: A Synthesis Essay

He Says, She Says: A Synthesis Essay

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He Says, She Says: A Synthesis

Communication between men and women is a constant comparison of differing and many times opposite forms of reasoning. But should these differences hinder our ability to communicate with the opposite sex? There are many differing opinions concerning this topic. While trying to understand our differences we have lost site of the fact that somewhere in our conflicting thought patterns and methods of communication is the challenge and intrigue that attracts us to the opposite sex. Rather than seeing our communication diversities as obstacles we should consider them challenges that draw and keep our attention. You do not need to be an expert on human behavior to appreciate gender classified language and its effects on male female relationships, however many experts have attempted to tackle the issue.

Deborah Tannen is the author of several books concerning inter-gender relations and addresses the issue of differing reasoning resulting in misunderstanding. Tannen describes differences between male and female communication skills as a series of predetermined thought patterns. She states that men and women simply have a different way of going about communication. She believes that different ways of communicating stem from differing desired results of the conversation at hand. A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, “Would you like to stop for a coffee?”

“No, thanks,” he answered truthfully. So they didn’t stop.

The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrate. Why didn’t she just say what she wanted? (Tannen p...


... middle of paper ...


... the office. These anecdotes are entirely anti-female based and sound more like what a paranoid feminist might think than what actually goes through the minds of men and women alike in the workplace. However Josefowitz accurately portrays the inevitable presence of separation of thought patterns between men and women.

As much as the problems associated with inter-gender communications are a result of differing ways of expression, so are they results of differing ways of comprehension. So before we point a finger at the opposite sex we must first examine
our own. Think not of our communicative troubles as deterrents, but rather as attractions and representations of our exceptional differences.

Works Cited

- Tannen, Deborah. “Can’t we Talk?” A Meeting of Minds.

- Turner, Robin. “Male Logic and Woman’s Intuition”. A Meeting of Minds.

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