It began with silent redwood trees watching my every move with dark, hollow eyes. The mists blanketed the eastern skies, showering the Californian skyline with opaque darkness. Walking in the morning wasn’t so bad when I have been doing it for almost four years. The hills stretched for about another mile, give or take. I never measured the actual distance. I always kept myself busy. This time, I held my phone in my hand. With earbuds in my head, I was listening to various pitches of notes. I would hum the same note, hum the next, and then repeat in that order. I did not help that it was blistering cold.
Today was the day of my talent show rendition. My high school choir was hosting a talent show for all the students to come and participate in. Auditions were being held the week before, and by some strange stroke of luck, I got a spot on the stage. For all my years in high school, this was the first time I participated in a school activity that involved me and only me. In the past, I had done all school activities with friends and classmates. I was never one for practice. Sure, attending my choir classes did help in the long run, but was a really ready for ...
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...going along, up until the very end. I was still shaking, but as I hit that final note, I waved my hand up into the air as high as I could. “Thank you all! And have a terrific night!”
I bounced off the stage faster than I could drop a mic. People backstage had all been clapping for me, because they knew that I powered through it. They knew that even under all the stress. I still did what I did. Eliza, our choir director, came backstage to congratulate me, and told me it’s all over. Honestly, I felt sick. It was as if I could puke at any given second. But I held it in. And I kept my head held up high.
After that day, I noticed something about me. I was less anxious about everything. I did everything knowing that whatever happens, I’m doing something for myself. I lost almost all sense of doubt. From that day on, I could see the abyss, smile, and keep moving forward.
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