I woke up to a curious noise one morning. My eight year old brain came up with no explanation so I stepped into the hall, hands in the pockets of my blue jeans I usually slept in. I saw pots and pans on the floor catching rain. That was the new sound I would soon be used to. Our house had reached the point of leaking. At least the sound was relaxing.
What wasn’t relaxing was the back door. It didn’t stay shut even if you locked it. One night I woke up from a nightmare and had a perfect view of the back door slowly creeping open. I was always afraid an animal or monster would come inside. Any person could walk right in. I was in my mom’s bed on this night because I had nightmares so often that it seemed stupid to even try to sleep in my bed anymore. I always ended up there anyways. I had nightmares about everything you could possibly think of. A decent amount of them were set in the house or had me running to get help down my street but failing to get away from whatever was following me. When that door opened I thought my nightmare was about to become real. The door used to shut but after that night it never did again. We never replaced it and had to prop heavy things against it.
I had a hard time feeling safe at night but also in the daytime. It didn’t matter if I was inside or outside. We lived far away from others but I always felt a presence. I often felt watched and my discomfort was to the point of life disrupting. The first time I was left home alone I stayed in one spot with my back against the wall not even daring to blink. It felt like hours and I really had to pee but I was not about to move a single muscle. I would usually feel the presence watching me from a distance and from somewhere behind me. When my back was ...
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... moved I changed a lot as a person and have become somebody who feels mostly positive emotions. I’m a healthier person and I treat myself and others around me better than I did before. I was in a dark place and my mind felt sad and dark as well. Nothing was going anywhere but now it’s the opposite. My house is the hang out house for my group of friends. My whole life changed. I still wake up to curious noises. Upon investigating I find my parents talking about what fun things we should do today. I would see my brother and sister laughing. These things didn’t happen often before but my family would soon get used to these. It’s still hard to believe that this is my life now. In some ways I don’t even recognize myself anymore but I’m happy for that. I was always scared of change but now I see the wonders that change can bring. At last I have peace and can sleep soundly.
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