Like most teenagers I went through a phase of questioning my sexuality, but it took me a long time to figure out what I actually liked. How I felt towards girls was something that was always hidden in the back of my mind but, I just buried it by other feelings and pushed away any thoughts I had about girls. I had a series of terrible relationships with guys and I knew that for my own happiness I needed to change something and the easiest thing to change was going from dating a bunch awful guys to dating some of the most amazing girls I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. It definitely wasn 't an easy change and it took a really long time for me to even be able admit to myself that I was gay.
I started on dating sites saying that I was straight; I thought I might be able to meet an interesting guy to change my mind but none of them seemed right. I got one day curious and changed my profile to bisexual, I talked to a few girls but I just got a lot of messages from guys in relationships that wanted to add a third person to their love lives. After that I decided that the guys on dating sites weren 't worth my time anymore, so I to change my profile to lesbian and kept it that way.
I would talk to a few random girls on OkCupid but I was always too nervous to meet up with them, it was one thing to talk to girls on there but it was a whole other reality being face to face with them. Everything changed when I started talking to a girl named Briana, she was one of those girls that only exist in an John Green novel but she was real and just a town away, I had to meet her no matter how nervous I felt about it! We had a mutual friend so we planned to meet up at a party just to see how things went. She took my breath and made ...
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...was able to have a full conversation about being gay. I didn 't feel judged I felt accepted and loved.
I haven 't come out to all of my family yet, i 've been waiting for the “right time” but there never is one. Sometimes i feel like i shouldn 't have to come out to everyone though because no one has to come out a straight so why do i need to come out as gay. I was talking to my brother about the show The L Word and he just went “what are you gay or something?” all I could say was “probably” and that was how we left it, clean and simple. For the rest of my family I thought about baking a cake and writing I’m gay in rainbow frosting because even if they aren 't happy with me, who doesn 't like cake? No matter how or when I end up coming out to them, they will all eventually know that i 'm gay because it is part of me and they deserve to know and love every part of me.
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