Society often emphasizes the role of parents and how they should rear their children, but parents often go against what society thinks and often practices. My parents both contradicted themselves while their expectations were very different. Their expectations were different in an aspect that they both wanted me to succeed, but they wanted that to come to a certain limit, especially when it meant excelling higher than they did. The parental expectations that were placed on me went shockingly wrong, because I; unlike others, took a different route and succeeded tremendously well. My dad is an educated black man who went to college to get his bachelors in liberal arts. He attended business school and even helped my brother and me start our own business, which is still very successful today. My dad is a teacher. A teacher to me is a prominent figure in the community, one who not only educates others but also him/herself. While my dad came from a big family of more than 12; and humble beginnings, he expected my brother and me to do something bigger than what he did, but in the back of my mind, he also didn’t want us to be his “better” competition. My dad wanted us to go to college, and to graduate, and to embark upon a good profession. He also hoped that one day I would marry a black man and have kids. I believe that my dad wanted for me what his life wasn’t, the path he wished he would have taken. My dad has five children, Christopher; 26, Darce; 19, Me; 17, and two twelve year-old twin daughters whose identities still remain unknown to me. Just as he had children early in life, he divorced in the same manner. He spread his seed around like it was a fad and didn’t handle his responsibilities as a parent. And then when I got to the age where I knew what sex was he also expected me to get pregnant young too. He expected me to get pregnant at 17 and not to graduate high school-at least that’s what he thought would happen. Defiantly, I turned 17 without becoming pregnant, graduated high school one year early at the top of my class, and am enrolled in one of America’s most prestigious black colleges.
As a maturing adult I now realize the importance of having a strong parental foundation. Throughout my life there have been moments where both parents demonstrated the characteristics of all four basic parenting styles. However, as I aged it became apparent that my parents had successfully found their niche in a parenting style that was analogous with their personality and beliefs. In my father's case it was the authoritative parenting style. With this style he captured my trust and respect; never letting me down. Furthermore, it was my mother's permissive parenting that undeniably contributed towards my love and gratitude for her. There were also instances where my parents influenced my life both positively and negatively. Nevertheless, I am forever grateful for having my parents in my life, for they contributed (and continue to contribute) towards my success as a growing adult.
One way isn’t always the right way. There is rarely one route to positivity and success and this is one of these cases. This is shown in the article when we learn of the different parenting styles of Martin Altenburg’s parents compared to Kwasi Enin’s parents. On one hand, Kwasi’s parents pushed him to academic accomplishment, and on the other hand, Martin’s parents preferred for their children to follow their interests. This story shows the previously mentioned main idea because even with a strict or carefree environment at home, Kwasi and Martin were able to accomplish the prestigious academic feat of acceptance to all Ivy League
In most of my classes I’ve always heard that your parents are the most important people in your life and I truly believe this. People are affected by everything their parents say and do both in childhood and later on in adulthood. If a child is constantly looked down upon and made to believe that nothing they do is good enough, chances are they will grow up believing this and having low confidence. It is remarkable that a child David’s age fought himself from breaking down, dissolving into tears and giving up hope for a better future. David constantly worked towards or rather survived because of a dream, a dream t hat he was a prince and that every...
Deep down inside, I have always known my parents are loving parents that will do anything they can to support me to prosper and succeed in life. The only problem is that my parents came from very traditional household that used the authoritarian parenting style, so that is the style they used on me. While growing up with parents using the authoritarian parenting style, I was not exposed to their warmth or nurturing side. Instead, I was taught to respect authority and traditional structure in a demanding, controlling and punitive way. This affected me in a negative way as I was expected to follow strict rules unconditionally with absolute obedience, and my parents rarely gave me choices or options as they had very high expectations of what I should be doing. For example, when I was in junior high, my parents selected all of my courses and I had no control over my school schedule. They told me that they were doing this because they knew what was good for me and what career path I should be going into in the future. However, what they did not understand at that time is that their actions lowered my self-esteem and prevented me to act independently; as a result, I never really learned how to set my own limits and personal standards until I entered my sophomore year in high school.
I was raised in an encouraging household where both of my parents greatly valued education. Although they were high school graduates, neither could afford to attend college; a combination of family and financial woes ultimately halted their path. As a result, my parents frequently reminded me that getting a good education meant better opportunities for my future. To my parents, that seemed to be the overarching goal: a better life for me than the one they had. My parents wanted me to excel and supported me financially and emotionally of which the former was something their parents were not able to provide. Their desire to facilitate a change in my destiny is one of many essential events that contributed to my world view.
I was a somewhat unwanted child, because the culture exalted male children and despised female children. I was my parents’ third daughter. I was also the darkest skinned, another trait that was undesirable in my culture. I cannot forget that my mother was unsatisfied when she had me. When I was at my tender age my told me about her past and why she wanted a son and dissatisfied when I was born. From her upbringing and the cultural praise of male children, she too wanted a son. However, my father was always proud of us even though we were daughters. As a little girl I would go to my father and touch him in order to become light like him, and he told me I was his precious gold. His love and acceptance of everyone inspired me to aim higher. My father doesn’t believe gender determines a person’s intelligence, so he always hoped for the best for his three daughters and son. I realized that my parents’ had different perspectives on their children because of their varying upbringings. Coming to America I...
My parents have always pushed me to be better than they were. They knew that if I wanted to be successful I needed to go to college. In highschool, they always made me put my education before anything else. My parents didn’t go to college so they would always tell me to not make that mistake because their lives could have been easier if they would of just invested a few more years into their education. They would also tell me about all the opportunities that missed out on because they decided not to further their education.
Growing up, two group of people, parents, and grandparents, took the time and the energy to raise me. Both of them had different approaches when raising me. These approaches were different parenting styles. According to Baumrind, parenting style was the “[capturing] normal variations in parents’ attempts to control and socialize their children” (Darling, 1999). To put it simply, parenting style goal was to lecture, influence, and discipline a child. In general, there are four parenting styles with their own specific benefits and disadvantages. Furthermore, parenting style, granted the dynamic of the family was understood, can be identified in families.
While I never knew my father, I did grow to know the challenges faced by African Americans. I first began to feel different when I transferred from public to private middle school. People began asking about my ethnicity for the first time in my life. Until this time, it had never seemed important. Although I had never been overly fond of my curly hair, it, along with other traits deemed too 'ethnic' looking, now became a source of shame. I had a few not so affectionate nicknames because of those curls. I was shocked to realize that people considered me different or less desirable because of these physical traits. Being turned away from an open house in my twenties was just as shocking as being ...
I was raised by my mother and grandmother. They kept my head leveled and taught me that working hard leads to success. I loved them, and they were my role models. I grew up in a middle class family with strong women. I learned independence, and the strong will to never give up. It was the summer of 2005 when my mother re-married, and I was in the eighth grade. My mother was happy because she found the conclusion to her life: a husband. I was ecstatic because I finally had a daddy! My hopes, wishes, and dreams had come true. I felt that God answered my prayers. I loved having a father figure, although I had certain doubts. My uncertainty came from the way he looked at me. He looked at me the way men crave women. However, I concealed my unclear feelings because I did not want to ruin the current circumstances. Unfortunately, all of my suspicions were true.
Looking back at my past, I recall my mother and father’s relationship as if it were yesterday. I am only four years old, small and curious; I tended to walk around my home aimlessly. I would climb book shelves like a mountain explorer venturing through the Himalayans, draw on walls to open windows to my own imagination, or run laps around the living room rug because to me I was an Olympic track star competing for her gold medal; however my parents did not enjoy my rambunctious imagination. My parents never punished me for it but would blame each other for horrible parenting skills; at the time I did not understand their fights, but instead was curious about why they would fight.
Would you have come out different if your parents used a different parenting style? If you are considered “cool” now could you have come out a nerd if your parents would have used a different parenting style? “Parenting style is one of the primary determinants of your child’s outcome whether he succeeds, achieves, meets the challenges, flounders, gives up, or runs from or fails in handling life.” (6) The purpose of this paper is to describe the outcomes, processes, labor, and techniques of parenting in a psychological point of view. Parenting styles are defined as the “manner in which parents express their beliefs on how to be a good or bad parent.” (4) Each parenting style has its weaknesses and strengths. All parents incorporate love and limit in their style of parenting. There are four different types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, democratic, and uninvolved parents.
I could have been a super senior or a drop out altogether. I could have been a father struggling with finances. I could have been a drug addict and not be writing this three page essay that ruins weekends, and for that I am thankful that my dad didn’t let things slide that weren’t right. I am kind of happy he threatened me with military school when I was in middle school, I was a handful, I would get kicked out of class constantly but I stayed in school, years later I would be walking down my high school football stadium class of 2016 for my graduation, both my parents stressed it that it was the utmost importance to graduate, both my mother and father pushed me to get good enough grades to graduate. My dad would try to teach me math, I hated math so much it was my least favorite subject, I was more of a history type of guy. He would try his best to help me in school, but i just needed the motivation to get me started, I personally didn’t think i would graduate high school, he gave me the courage to do so, it was a requirement to him, I see some kids drop out or go to adult school to get a G.E.D but having a high school degree was better, I still got to enjoy my years as a teen, having fun with friends, hanging out, I just had to follow certain guidelines to not get me into trouble. In highschool I was never a bad kid though, it was in middle school I was a little shit who thought i runned things but no, my dad was the big boss. The most i probably got in trouble was when I came home really late around 12:00 AM with my girlfriend, but he wasn’t mad at the fact I was out with her very late, it was the fact that I didn’t let him know where I was, he started to loosen his grip about me going out slowly over my four years in highschool, I just needed to tell him I was getting home late, and there shouldn’t be a problem what so ever. Even when I go party my dad wants me to be safe, I tell him who I go with and
Both of my grandparents raised my own parents when being young kids into having discipline, responsibilities and obligations. Back in the day, the years were different and it required a lot more education/principles. Education has been one of the most maybe top five of me, my character. Since what I remember by parents always taught me the right path, not wrong, they always tried to fix my mistakes so I wouldn 't repeat them or make myself look bad in front of other people. They wanted me to be an educated person with principles, but I never understood why
We were responsible for managing our homework and schedules. We were not nagged into studying, and did not rely on their reminders to do our work. This was not a burden for me, but a freedom. They encouraged us to put every effort we could into our work, but if we didn’t we were the ones who would bear the consequences. We were punished for never “encouraged” to do well with money or treats. My mother and father emphasized the personal responsibility and consequences of education, instead of using material items as incentives. Because I felt responsible for my education, I wanted to do the best possible. I knew my efforts in school reflected on me personally, and I wanted to do well. I knew that if I could not get A’s in my classes because of a difficulty understanding or learning material, or for other similar reasons, it was fine, but if I only did not get A’s because I did not put effort into my work, it was my fault, my responsibility, and my regret I had to deal with. This understanding and outlook has helped me to do well in school, and motivated me to be a determined, hardworking