Society often emphasizes the role of parents and how they should rear their children, but parents often go against what society thinks and often practices. My parents both contradicted themselves while their expectations were very different. Their expectations were different in an aspect that they both wanted me to succeed, but they wanted that to come to a certain limit, especially when it meant excelling higher than they did. The parental expectations that were placed on me went shockingly wrong, because I; unlike others, took a different route and succeeded tremendously well. My dad is an educated black man who went to college to get his bachelors in liberal arts. He attended business school and even helped my brother and me start our own business, which is still very successful today. My dad is a teacher. A teacher to me is a prominent figure in the community, one who not only educates others but also him/herself. While my dad came from a big family of more than 12; and humble beginnings, he expected my brother and me to do something bigger than what he did, but in the back of my mind, he also didn’t want us to be his “better” competition. My dad wanted us to go to college, and to graduate, and to embark upon a good profession. He also hoped that one day I would marry a black man and have kids. I believe that my dad wanted for me what his life wasn’t, the path he wished he would have taken. My dad has five children, Christopher; 26, Darce; 19, Me; 17, and two twelve year-old twin daughters whose identities still remain unknown to me. Just as he had children early in life, he divorced in the same manner. He spread his seed around like it was a fad and didn’t handle his responsibilities as a parent. And then when I got to the age where I knew what sex was he also expected me to get pregnant young too. He expected me to get pregnant at 17 and not to graduate high school-at least that’s what he thought would happen. Defiantly, I turned 17 without becoming pregnant, graduated high school one year early at the top of my class, and am enrolled in one of America’s most prestigious black colleges.
The author Wes Moore dad was a hard worker and he had dreams & goals set for the future. The other Wes’s parents didn’t have as much drive and ambition. The other Wes’s dad walked out on him and his mother was left to work jobs just to provide for the family. Author Wes’s parents ambitions rubbed off onto him and his mother’s love for education drove her to push Wes academically. The two mothers had different expectations and ambitions for their sons. The other Wes states “‘We will do what others expect of us, Wes said. If they expect us to graduate we will graduate. If they expect us to get a job, we will get a job. If they expect us to go to jail, we will go to jail.” (Moore 126). The expectation the families had on both Wes’s shaped who they were and that influenced the decisions they made, that caused their lives to end up so
Parents want what is best for their children, but sometimes they expect too much and children can feel trapped. The only way kids feel they can escape from the pressure is to gain independence through rebelling. The short story “Brother Dear”, by Bernice Friesen suggests the idea that when individuals pursue independence by rebelling against expectations set out for them, they can become estranged from loved ones and feel like they have let them down; however, despite the pressure an individual may feel they can often remain optimistic about their situation. Greg grows up with a lot of pressure from his family to do well in life, the only way he feels he can escape this pressure is rebelling against what they want.
Common stereotypes portray black fathers as being largely absent from their families. Proceeding the emancipation, African Americans were forced to adapt to a white ruled society. Now that they were free, many sought education and jobs in order to provide for their families and achieve their full potential. This caused many African American males to leave their families in pursuit of better opportunities. Obama’s father had left his home to pursue education and study at Harvard University, but Obama only saw his father one more time, in 1971, when he came to Hawaii for a month's visit. Throughout the rest of his life, Obama faced the conflict of belonging, most in part because he didn’t have a father to help him. “There's nobody to guide through
Generally, parents’ want their child will be happy and successful, and these hopes often coexist with their specific ideals and aspirations. According to the article, “On the Relations Between Parents’ Ideals and Children’s Autonomy”, “parents also hope that their children will adopt the ideals they have for them, because if children are to realize their parents have for them, they must pursue these ideals too.” (de Ruyter, and Schinkel 369). Consequently, their parenting style will be influenced by this desire for their child to share the same ideals. In my case, these ideals existed, but weren’t extremely prominent. A more traditional example is one of my best friends, who was a gymnast and cheerleader for almost a decade. I remember her dreading and loathing both activities daily, but her mother signed her up at age five and wouldn’t let her quit until high school because she so intensely wanted her daughter to love what she loved. She decided early on that her daughter would play that role, and did everything in her power to make her achieve the ideal.
I was raised in an encouraging household where both of my parents greatly valued education. Although they were high school graduates, neither could afford to attend college; a combination of family and financial woes ultimately halted their path. As a result, my parents frequently reminded me that getting a good education meant better opportunities for my future. To my parents, that seemed to be the overarching goal: a better life for me than the one they had. My parents wanted me to excel and supported me financially and emotionally of which the former was something their parents were not able to provide. Their desire to facilitate a change in my destiny is one of many essential events that contributed to my world view.
While I never knew my father, I did grow to know the challenges faced by African Americans. I first began to feel different when I transferred from public to private middle school. People began asking about my ethnicity for the first time in my life. Until this time, it had never seemed important. Although I had never been overly fond of my curly hair, it, along with other traits deemed too 'ethnic' looking, now became a source of shame. I had a few not so affectionate nicknames because of those curls. I was shocked to realize that people considered me different or less desirable because of these physical traits. Being turned away from an open house in my twenties was just as shocking as being ...
Parent expectations are also a factor in educational success, which is tangentially linked to post-high school success. According to Goodman and Gregg (2010), even if parents have high expectations for their children, they are not guaranteed to succeed in higher education. Expectations are not enough to determine whether students move on to higher education. When expectations are linked to parental involvement, attainment of higher education is improved.
As an adolescent, there were countless times that I disagreed with my parents. Ninety-Nine percent of the time I argued with my parents, just for the sake of an argument. I know that after almost every argument I can remember muttering to myself, that I will never treat my kids as my parents did. To fulfill this teenage fantasy I will need to overcome two giant hurdles. First, my nature or genetic makeup comes from my parents. Also, the environment that I’m raised in or nurtured in is solely with my parents. In the following, I will discuss my views on how nature and nurture both contribute to who I am.
I was raised by my mother and grandmother. They kept my head leveled and taught me that working hard leads to success. I loved them, and they were my role models. I grew up in a middle class family with strong women. I learned independence, and the strong will to never give up. It was the summer of 2005 when my mother re-married, and I was in the eighth grade. My mother was happy because she found the conclusion to her life: a husband. I was ecstatic because I finally had a daddy! My hopes, wishes, and dreams had come true. I felt that God answered my prayers. I loved having a father figure, although I had certain doubts. My uncertainty came from the way he looked at me. He looked at me the way men crave women. However, I concealed my unclear feelings because I did not want to ruin the current circumstances. Unfortunately, all of my suspicions were true.
Growing up, two group of people, parents, and grandparents, took the time and the energy to raise me. Both of them had different approaches when raising me. These approaches were different parenting styles. According to Baumrind, parenting style was the “[capturing] normal variations in parents’ attempts to control and socialize their children” (Darling, 1999). To put it simply, parenting style goal was to lecture, influence, and discipline a child. In general, there are four parenting styles with their own specific benefits and disadvantages. Furthermore, parenting style, granted the dynamic of the family was understood, can be identified in families.
Julio: My parents were different. They expected me to make peace with mediocracy. They did not care if I was ambitious or not. Just as long as I enjoyed myself. You could also say that I was not expected to aspire to excellence.
Looking back at my past, I recall my mother and father’s relationship as if it were yesterday. I am only four years old, small and curious; I tended to walk around my home aimlessly. I would climb book shelves like a mountain explorer venturing through the Himalayans, draw on walls to open windows to my own imagination, or run laps around the living room rug because to me I was an Olympic track star competing for her gold medal; however my parents did not enjoy my rambunctious imagination. My parents never punished me for it but would blame each other for horrible parenting skills; at the time I did not understand their fights, but instead was curious about why they would fight.
Would you have come out different if your parents used a different parenting style? If you are considered “cool” now could you have come out a nerd if your parents would have used a different parenting style? “Parenting style is one of the primary determinants of your child’s outcome whether he succeeds, achieves, meets the challenges, flounders, gives up, or runs from or fails in handling life.” (6) The purpose of this paper is to describe the outcomes, processes, labor, and techniques of parenting in a psychological point of view. Parenting styles are defined as the “manner in which parents express their beliefs on how to be a good or bad parent.” (4) Each parenting style has its weaknesses and strengths. All parents incorporate love and limit in their style of parenting. There are four different types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, democratic, and uninvolved parents.
In depth analysis has revealed the structure of people and who they grow up to be. Whether the parenting style is prosperous or poor, it has significant impacts on how one sees the world, how one sees themself and has influence on one's levels of achievement throughout a lifetime. Until the child can recognize their own ability and goals, parenting style is the largest determining factor in the child's success in social and academic circumstances. Children are the final product, or a reflection of culture and a family's values. No matter what events or people cause turmoil in a child's life, the true impact of the negative outside forces lays in the parents hands. If the child is raised correctly, negativity will not take a toll on them as opposed to a child raised in a 'broken home.'
Growing up my mom and dad always showed us unconditional love. They shaped us to learn the right from the wrong and the importance of education. They related the troubles we experienced in America theirs in South America and how education primarily is the root to being successful in America. My dad would always say “we never had the opportunities you all have in America so don’t let it slip away”. Besides education, they taught us that money is easier spent then earned so to value a dollar. The upbringing in life that they had was very hard living and all the struggles they experience moving to a new country just to provide a better living environment for their kids. In their country beating your kids was known to put way word kids straight. My brother and I can contest to those beating but it made us into good kids. We didn’t give into the peer pressure of other kids in school and we learned to walk away from trouble instead of fighting. Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t angels but we stayed out of the ways of trouble. I commend my parents for the person I’ve become and the independence they instilled in my life today. I’ve used the knowledge to shape the person I want to be and some day the mother I want to be for my kids. My parents brought me up with the foundation of kindness, humbleness, and understand with a strong spiritual Christian background. Their parenting styles