It felt like the world around me just seemed to freeze. I looked around and everything seemed dull and empty. Like nothing had a purpose anymore. I ran to my room as if I were being chased by a serial killer. I jumped onto my brothers tasseled bed and started to ball my eyes out. At that moment I could think about was, “what if my brother died. What would happen? Who would be the one to make me laugh and smile every day?” I was overcome with a tsunami of emotion.
I’m not that much of a religious person, I didn’t pray every day, and I didn’t go to church as much as I should have. But sure as hell, I prayed that day. I took my brothers cross that was hanging on his wall and held it tight and prayed. It wasn’t just silently asking God to help my brother. I was screaming it. I was making sure he could hear me. With the cross in one and my brothers favorite stuffed animal in my other I held them to my chest I began to start my prayer. I was asking God to please help my brother. To please make sure he was would be okay. That I promised I won’t ever ...
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...ould see him soon after the surgery. We were just approaching the OR when we no longer can walk with Joey anymore. The last thing my brother says to my mom before entering into to surgery was, “I told you I was sick.” My mom starts to laugh and then shortly after the laugh turns into tears. This is when my mom lost it. She started to cry, finally letting it out.
The surgery was a success! I am so grateful that my brother didn’t die. The grief of losing my brother is something I never want to feel again. The tears are still running down my face, but now they are tears of relief. It is amazing how many things we take for granted. We make plans for the day, not thinking twice about how those plans can be taken away from us in a blink of an eye. The point is that embrace all that you have now and love every single bit of it because one day it might vanish in thin air.
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