Frequently, I consider the past, and wish I had not gone through with it. In other words, not made the decision to explore the realm of a romantic relationship. However, pondering about previous memories has made me realize why I did make the eventual decision to go through with it.
It was senior year of high school, I had the resolute desire to “break the rules” (cliche I know). I was unexposed to rebellion, and I longed to discover what it felt like to do something disfavored. I wasn’t allow to date in high school. It was against my parents values, but I had an inclination to disregard this rule. After all, I could attempt to be somewhat discreet. I thought I deserved it. Particularly, I saw it as a fitting time to see what a relationship consisted of and what it felt like. Senior year was my excuse. A time to explore new facets of life because of the ample amounts of free time, and the anticipation of college. Never having done something worthy of being discussed outside the classroom, I was rarely the center of buzz and gossip. Sure, people enjoyed my company, but I was always appropriate and my actions were expected. My mother described me as temperate and easily attached. I craved change. I wanted to be that individual whose lif...
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...rimary reason he was able to move on and forget about me easily.
First love followed by your first heartbreak is tough, but I believe that you’ll always possess some concern for this person. Honestly, I think human beings are wired to never forget when they first felt or were introduced to these powerful emotions being so rare and beautiful. You can’t fight them (believe me I’ve tried). I think our best bet is to just live with them. I can honestly say that living with the memories of experiencing these powerful emotions with him was a privilege, even though it came with certain drawbacks. You can’t completely let go of someone that meant so much to you. Predominantly, I now understand we were not right for each other. I like to think god had another plan for me, and this was why it did not work out between us. This is my realization. I hope it has influence on you.
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