Growing up, my siblings and I didn’t have a father-figure to look up to. I didn’t care. As I grew up I realized that I have a female role model in my life, which was my mother. My brother, however, didn’t have a male role model to show him the ropes of life.
My brother was a bright child. He was on the honor roll, played on a basketball team; we did the school musical together. Everyone had called “a respectful boy.” He always responded, “yes ma 'am” “no sir” He made people smile, and everyone loved when he danced. I especially, I could never stop smiling when I saw my brother dance. That was the old Hakim, the one that I will never forget, never. Sadly, that all changed around the age of 13, I didn’t understand what was going on. My sweet
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I always wonder what was going through my brother’s mind when he did the things he did. “ Children also develop the belief that the absent parent is bad and so, through genetics, they must also be bad” (Guertin). Maybe this is what he thought when my dad wasn’t around.
Yesterday I interviewed my mother’s friend who works at Banneker Elementary School. She talked to about her son who was murdered in 1995. She told me “she wished she was more involve in her sons life, and if she was he may still be here”. She told me that his father had left when her son was young; she believed if he had stuck around in her son’s life he may still be here (West).
Most boys tend to want to grow up as fast they can, to become men. “These include intense competition with other boys, engaging in risky behaviors, and criminal “tough guy” behavior intended to scare the world into seeing them as men”(Pittman). When boys do this, they think there doing something right. They can be to others what their fathers were never to them. More than that there trying to prove it their selves because they don’t want to turn into their dads, somebody who just leaves their
Growing up there were these unspoken “rules” that young boys had to live by and have to continue to live by these “rules” as we go about our lives. Growing up if you were to break one of these “rules” it would most likely draw negative attention to yourself and you could quite possibly have some harsh consequences to face in the near future. To be honest, I’m not all that sure how these “rules” came to be or how they get passed down from generation to generation but they’re very much apart of our society so a vast majority of men know of these “rules” and abide by them very closely.
The idea that teenage boys should act a certain way towards females is usually instilled in them at a young age. According to Devor, “ Femininity must be expressed through modes of… action which communicate weakness, dependency, ineffectualness, availability for sexual or emotional service, and sensitivity to the needs of others” (Devor 6-7). In other words, men have to place women on a lower pedestal because of a woman’s so called “needs” (Devor 6). The “needs” that women express are feminine characteristics. The characteristics of females listed by Devor, does not show any sign of power or dominance. Since society believes gender is a patriarchy, females have no influence and need attention. This shows that men adjust their actions around women, since they believe that women need special attention. Furthermore, if a male possesses anything non-masculine,
Young boys are also being manipulated by marketers. Boys are naturally more aggressive than girls and companies use that to their advantage. Boys are taught to be tough and “manly”. Boys are raised with the belief that it is not okay to cry, or have any sort of overwhelming emotion that can be taken as “girly”. This puts terrible pressure on a kid, but toy distributors take it and use it to their advantage. Boys are taught to be tough so boys need “tough” toys like guns and swords. Girls are taught to be frail and dainty and boys are told to be violent and tough. The problem with this is that not every child is going to feel as if they belong in category “A”, when they see themself as a “B”. In other words, not every young boy is going to like being rough and tough and not every girl wants to be delicate and
Media is a focal reason for the evolution and formation of masculinity, especially black masculinity. Men are at the forefront of media, and the men that are portrayed in media are almost perfect in every fashion. The media has stereotyped black men, which ultimately leads to the evolution of the black man. The evolution of the black man is formed through a stereotype because, it affects the expectations of what black men are supposed and not supposed to do. Starting in the early 1950s the image of black men started to change. Elite black jazz men started to withdraw themselves for the stereotypical black man.
Growing up as a male, they will mainly hear these sayings all the time, “Be a man,” “Don’t show emotions,” “Don’t act like a girl,” “Be cool and better than others” and “Grow some balls.” There are many other things that have been said but I am pretty sure you get the point by now. Living in today 's society, in other to have that man box they have the obligation to prove their manliness. It controls and takes over their box. Especially during school, seeing all the bad males being favored for being mad, this makes the younger generation look up to them and want to be like them. Males are known to look for trouble, they don’t know why they do it, but it feels right when they do it because it 's the only way they can “earn” respect from friends and outsiders. Every male feels they deserve respect, they will try to get it no matter what, “Respect is linked to violence,” Dr. Marshal stated in the video “The Mask You Live in.” Males are aggressive, it’s like a special trait they’re known to have. IF violence I the only way they can get respect, then that’s what is indeed to happen. Males mask their feelings, and push everything out with actions. There is no need to be weak if they know can they can man up, “If I can man up, why step down from that,” said a student in the video “Mask You Live In.” Males know they can be superior, rough, the
While Reading the book Real Boys by Dr. William Pollack, I realized that our society is holding boys to contradictory standards aiding the problems that many of them face while in adolescence. This book introduces the reader to numerous boys who share their feelings of shame and despair in trying to live up to the "Boy Code". Pollack feels the pain that comes from boys prematurely separating from their mothers puts them on the cycle to hardening themselves emotionally. The one acceptable emotion becomes anger.
Mans primal instinct towards violence really shows when they are living without rules or realize that there are no authority figures to enforce any rules. Without having consequences for any actions that might be taken then they primal instinct of the boys
In the biography, the narrator writes about his childhood life, and how he tries to live up to his dad who he never met. In theory, mothers and fathers are very essential in child development. Mothers are there to nature and provide for a child; while fathers are there to give guidance and be a role model. There are two kinds of
An English proverb states, “ A hero is a man who is afraid to run away”. I agree with this proverb, because when you see a hero in a comic book, they have super cool back stories, are not afraid to fight, and stare danger in the face and not blink. They are not afraid of anything. That’s nice to look up to, but they are not real. Our definition of a hero is too much for one man to become, you can do something honorable, heroic, but you will never actually be a hero because it's too much, in real life. Heroes don’t just do it so they can get paid, or respect. What really determines whether someone is a hero is if they choose to do something about it in a bad situation. We have people that do heroic acts, for example, people putting their lives before others. Those people cannot be heroes because they get paid to do it, they are, firefighters, cops, and military, they get paid to help people, so they aren't considered a hero.
As a child develops, their surroundings have a major influence on the rest of their lives; if boys are taught to “man up” or never to do something “like a girl”, they will become men in constant fear of not being masculine enough. Through elementary and middle school ages, boys are taught that a tough, violent, strong, in-control man is the ideal in society and they beat themselves up until they reach that ideal. They have to fit into the “man box” (Men and Masculinity) and if they do not fulfill the expectations, they could experience physical and verbal bullying from others. Not only are friends and family influencing the definition of masculine, but marketing and toys stretch the difference between a “boy’s toy” and a “girl’s toy”. Even as early as 2 years old, children learn to play and prefer their gender’s toys over the other gender’s (Putnam). When children grow up hearing gender stereotypes from everyone around them, especially those they love and trust like their parents, they begin to submit themselves and experience a loss of individuality trying to become society’s ideal. If everyone is becoming the same ideal, no one has a sense of self or uniqueness anymore and the culture suffers from
society expect a boy to be the solid figure in a family. A man who can earn the bread for
We’ve all had are moments when we wanted to be a hero, to wear a cape, and help others who felt they needed a helping hand. Being a hero can be so much more than saving someone from a life or death situation. In the ancient Greece modern time, a hero was a woman who was well-known and would obtain a status after a death of a lover. To the Greeks, the urgency of heroes was a mythical thing because it molded the future “heroes” (Kreyche p. 82). This dates to today’s heroes. Every mythical and non-mythical story has its heroes, especially the ones kids have created in books and movies. The definition of heroes has progressively changed throughout the years. Today, our heroes consist of a person having “great courage, especially for a noble purpose” (“heroism”). Throughout the years, heroism has been created to show one’s grateful purpose, their effects of being a hero, and what it took to keep the status of a “hero”.
young males themselves who feel a certain masculine instinct to live up to. Why the
Outline and assess the view that patriarchy is the main cause of gender inequality (40 marks)
Does changing gender role affect family relationship or will it be beneficial. Gender as a social construction has become one of the most mentioned topic in today’s society. In fact, gender as a social construction has given a lot of disadvantages too many women, men, and families. With it rigid definition create by traditional cultures that state what it means to be a man and women or the perfect gender role that a father and mother should have. This conversation has cause a controversy in many marital relationship, families and community. As this argument keep growing amount generation and generation we should fight to end stereotypes by eliminating gender roles totalitarian perception by allowing father to take a role in house shores