Or to go back:
When I was four I realized that I should stop talking, because who would listen. When I was eight I realized that I should stop asking, because who would provide. When a human’s weight can’t be a priority, and the mental health of a child is plummeting. My family has always struggled with money. It seems like a cycle that keeps happening. My father would lose his job which meant no money or food on the table. But I would always look back and remember how we made it out of it. I remember wondering where my father was when he was working three new jobs to keep us financially stable. Eventually we had to move into my grandmothers because we lost our first house we lived in. It was now a three-bedroom house filled with nine people living there. A few years before my aunt and her two children had to move in with my grandmother to get away from the domestic abuse from their father. It caused a lot of fights in the household when we moved in. I still went in optimistic even though the room we slept in could only fit one bed and matts on the floor where I would be laying my head for the next couple of years. The day my dad came home early it started to worry me until he said, “Pack everything was g...
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...n who lived with us at the time when we were living there when my aunt and them were there with us. When I told my mother, what happened, she didn’t say anything. I thought I was in the wrong for telling her. Eventually she told my father and one night we had a talk I wouldn’t forget. He sat me down and asked, “Did this actually happen to you or is this your way of trying to get attention?” I didn’t know what to think or what to say until he told me what happened to him when he was younger. I looked at him and saw that he wasn’t mad but concerned so I told him in detail what happened. The next day he went to my cousin and asked if what I said was true. He said, “yes I did.” This shocked me that he took the blame. Then my senior year began and I tried to heal and comprehend what all happened that summer and realized it takes time to gain the strength to stand again.
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