I am named after my father, a man whose deep hearted laughter could fill a room and whose stern words and big smile filled my whole world. Standing at 6’5 he was, for lack of better words, my skyscraper. Since a young age, my father’s worried. He worried if I would grow up to be a delinquent, an imbecile, or my mother. The same his way his father raised him, he wanted to do the same for me, with structure and family values.
For the first years of my life, I went to a private school a place where my father knew I would succeed a place where I would have gone on to the best of the best, consequently the best was 20,000 dollars a year. In turn instead of private school, he gave me books. I cherished it, it allowed me to escape reality and find many new and amazing worlds. It helped me go on to be the best read student in the class and also to not have many companions. While my father had his constant desire for my success, it hindered my social skills greatly. It did give a view on life very similar to Ju...
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...irplane, I got to see my mother again and my little sister, I got to see my father entombed. Soon after I was back in Indiana, given a packet of work and condolences. My Tae-kwon-do teacher hugged me, I didn’t understand why at first. I still did my homework, and got good grades, I was still his daughter. Soon after I left Indiana, I started my seventh grade year back with my mother in California trying to push all the memories into oblivion, trying to be normal.
Today I try my hardest to make him proud, I think what if. He is what kept me motivated to fill out the applications, to believe I could to not give up even when I gave up on myself. I still don’t know what I am doing, I was never able to figure out the syllogism to use to make a dead person happy, or if I am even on the right path. I just know I want to make him proud, I want to prevail for him and for me.
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