Instinctively, I reach for my phone. No new messages. Why would there be? It’s midnight. No one sends messages at midnight, unless they’re thirteen and hiding under their covers exchanging winking faces. Despite this, deep inside, the fact I don’t have a group of letters tied together with some bit of sentiment digs at my core. It is my big day, after all.
Using my arthritic fingers, I must massage my cracking knee. This only aggravates my joints in my knuckles, but the quick rub gives my knee enough strength for me to start hobbling towards the living room. As I walk, my ankle snaps, releasing a sound that eerily resembles a rubber band. I plop down on my couch and sprawl out, feeling broken, and I realize how practical it is to kill me off now.
Squinting, I fumble around in the darkness for the remote. I begin flipping through channels, skipping shady infomercials and reruns, until I find the news. “Rebecca ‘Becky’ Flanstein, six years old, from Hooperville, Kentucky, was saved by local firemen from a burning house today,” a plump-cheeked, youthful anchorman announces. “The firefighters believe the fire was started when her mother accidentally left her oven on while running errands.”
“Stupid parent,” I mutter, feeling sour. “Maybe the kid would be better off dying in that fire.”
“In other news, actress Diana Plutarch from the Catalyst movies announced that she is having her first child with costar David Wood.”
“Unimportant,” I grumble.
“Finally, tomorrow, S...
... middle of paper ...
... associated with. My stomach churned as I imagined schoolchildren going on fieldtrips to gape at it.
As I fade out of my daydream, I realize I’ve left Linda waiting. “Sorry,” I mumble, embarrassed.
“We don’t need to rush,” she reassures me. “We just need to go through some questions, okay?”
“Do you have a preference to be injected in your left or right arm?”
“Is this the room you’d like to be injected while in?”
“Works just as well as the rest of them.”
“Do you have any last messages that need to be delivered?”
“Okay, I’m going to count to three, and then it will all be over with, Mr. Roberts. You will be at peace.”
I don’t tell her I doubt that as she slides the needle into my skin. I can’t tell her the guilt I feel, because I can’t find the words to express it. I won’t say anything else, because I’m gone now.
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