A simple summary of I’m Ok-You’re Ok will not give the needed credit that the book and its author deserve. It is a book that one must read to fully or even partially understand it’s meaning and the author’s viewpoint of transactional analysis. The author, Thomas A. Harris M.D., explains in this book the vast amount of experiences that affect the way we live our life from the moment we are born to the second we die. He explains the different feelings a child experiences from being taken cared of and attended to and vice versa. These feelings are described as “I’m not ok-you’re not ok, I’m not ok-you’re ok, I’m ok-you’re ok, and I’m ok-you’re not ok.” The author explains how the interactions between a parent and a child help develop each of these feelings and tells how each one is either healthy or unhealthy. The book talks about the way every human has an “Adult, Parent and a Child” in them all interacting with each other to perform certain task and make everyday decisions. It was amazing to read how certain verbal and physical actions can pinpoint which of the three we are using to perform whatever tasks we are doing. This book is a great guideline to understanding one’s own interpersonal behavior and understanding how to find and keep the “I’m ok-you’re ok” attitude in life.
Human development has always puzzled me in that I just don’t understand why everybody is completely different. No two people are alike in their ways of thinking, acting, or even dealing with everyday stress. I still don’t understand all of human development but after reading this book I do understand a great deal more about it. I did not realize that the development of a person’s personality starts from the earliest moments of life. It starts to develop when his or her mother or father holds them for the first time and it and it doesn’t stop developing and can always change. As I have grown up, I have realized that many of my actions are just mimics of what my parents did during my childhood. Just every day simple things such as chewing the inside portion of my lip while watching television, which is what my father has always done. The book explained to me that I saw these things being done by my parents and paired them in my mind as what an adult does, therefore I do them now because it is ...
... middle of paper ...
...r word usage. I can usually pick out certain words that trigger the thought a child or parent. I have notice the more stable a person is or the more educated a person is the more their parent potential shows out. The longer or more complex their words are the more likely their adult decisions are parental influenced. I even have noticed myself sometime having a strong child influence. I sometime get mad and even whine a little. I recognized my inner child during a card game when I got beaten by a better hand and I stood up and wanted to quit. Usually I don’t notice these things right from the get go but later when I think about I just laugh because I know I looked like a child. I know I will continue to observe people’s actions as well as my own and hopefully I can learn or teach myself how to control my interpersonal feelings.
This book is a great self help book in my mind. I would definitely tell others to read it but not to get discouraged at it because it does take some time reading it to understand its purpose. We all have interpersonal problems but this book is a wonderful guideline in understanding them and controlling them.
I really enjoyed this book. Alot of the passages made me really appreciate and reflect on those that are in my life, loved ones, or even a stranger that holds a door open for me. There is much love and gratitude to be dwelled on in life and I believe that if more people read Dr. Byock’s The Four Things That Matter Most, it would help so many people. Even if you think all of your relationships are already perfect, there is always room to grow. I definitely will think of my words and actions before I speak, and add the four things more to my life.
Some experiences one cannot remember, such as the first year of life. Though we cannot remember this time of our life, we discovered and developed reactions to our world. Parent interaction is needed in this time to help develop a sense of trust; therefore, parents are a big deal as we develop. They are the ones we look to know how to respond to the environment around us. We develop some fears because our parents are afraid of them and we develop likes and dislikes based on what our parents’ interests are. Personality is a collaboration of our reactions to the world. Each personality is different, though some people may have similar aspects to another’s personality. The more common, the better they get
I believe that as we grow up a worldview just kind of ingrades itself on us, we tell ourselves that that particular viewpoint is the normal one. European and African worldviews are completely different, analyzing both of them I can state that the European worldview is shallow and greedy. People who pride themselves on the European worldview are materialistic, only care about external fake beauty, and only care for themselves. People who have African worldview care for other in a genuine way, see beauty for what on the inside and not the outside, and have interpersonal
A nursing career was not even on my radar when I was younger. I knew of no one that was in the healthcare field and had no experiences related, besides being on the receiving end as a patient. Becoming a nurse was a concept that developed over time for me. I was fortunate in being able to care for my three children at home without the worries of juggling a job or placing them in daycare. This experience I will cherish forever. Somehow these cute little blond headed babies grew up and I found myself alone during the days. It was time, I needed to
The apple does not fall far from the tree. At least that is what has been said for a long time. For some time now, a child has been considered to be a depiction of their parents, but it is never really explained why. There are many possible reasons for why that has become a theory. In many cases a child is exposed to their parents for most of their life and therefore acquire many of their similar traits, one of which includes their self identity. There are many factors that contribute to the development of an adolescent’s identity, one of the most crucial factors being the influence of their parents. It is not news that a parent’s actions have an affect on their offspring’s life, yet the real surprising thing is just how much a parent can affect
Notwithstanding the basics of developmental psychology, human development is known for the controversial debate on nature and nurture. Researchers have not distinguished
Human development is a complex process with a series of stages that progressively proceeds in a more or less similar manner among different individuals. Right from conception to death, humans are in the process of developing. Different studies that have been conducted on human development show clear-cut similarities and differences among individuals of different ages, gender, ethnical backgrounds, organizations and many other aspects of concern. Individuals and groups of people have really devoted their time to trying to understand the consistency and changes throughout the lifespan. The major aim of the researches and studies that have been done is, “to identify factors that influence
Personality Insights. Per the Big Five model of personality, my highest score is a 9 on the Openness to experience. I am in the range from 7 to 11 which indicates I am at a moderate level of having an imaginative, an artistically sensitive, and intellectual thinking. This score is also a good predictor of my ability to achieve significant benefits from training efforts.
Whatever the conditions under which a child grows up, he will, if not mentally defective, learn to cope with others in one way or another and he will probably acquire some skills. But there are also forces in him which he cannot acquire or even develop by learning...Similarly, the human individual, given a chance, tends to develop his particular human personalities. He will develope then the unique alive human forces of his real self: the clarity and depth of his own feelings, thoughts, wishes, interests; the ability to tap into his own resources, the strengths of his will power; the special capacities or gifts he may have; the faculty to express himself, and to relate himself to others with his spontaneous feelings...In short, he will grow, substantially undiverted, toward self-realization.(17)
The behavior of a child grows in a patterned manner just as the body. Like the physical growth, behavior too is strongly influenced by the home and other surroundings in which the child grows up. While we all have a lifetime to develop varying aspects of ourselves, it is the childhood period that is the most important in acquiring many tools. The strongest and the longest environment to affect the child are the parents. Most parents consider it their responsibility as well as the privilege to provide the best possible environment favorable to child's physical growth. However, often they tend to forget about the behavioral aspect in a child's development. The more a parent knows about the changes that take place in a child's behavior when he grows up, the more successful they can be in guiding the child along the complicated path leading to maturity. The attitude of the parents towards a child is what can make all the difference.
After completing “What is My Big Five Personality Profile” I was not surprised at all by the results. The Big Five Personality Profile displays that I am approachable, generous, accommodating, and eager to compromise with fellow peers. It also shows how I am agreeable with folks and have a positive view of human nature. To me, individuals are truthful, decent, and dependable.
The Big Five trait assessment explores many different components of the personality, dividing them up into five main traits: openness, extroversion, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and agreeableness. There are multiple views when it comes to these traits, including the genotypic view, looking at traits as something you have, and the phenotypic view, claiming that traits are simply your tendency to act in a certain way, but not a certainty. The phenotypic view seems most aligned with how I view personality, therefore all the traits I discuss will be looking at my tendency to act a certain way. For the most part, the test results I got when taking the Big Five were accurate. My extroversion/introversion scale, aesthetics, and conscientiousness results seemed to closely mimic my behavior and cognitive processes, therefore I shall explore how those influence my
From birth, a child owns not much knowledge in his brain for the lacking of experiences. As time goes by, he would gradually learn to produce sound, to talk, to play, and to do certain things from his parents and the surrounding people. Also, his personality is influenced by the environment until he reaches his mature age. This is the time when he develops his own conscience and full awareness of the impact of the negativity and the goodness on his life. People say that a child is a product of the parents’ guidance for those reasons.
In the study of child development, nature and nurture are two essential concepts that immensely influence future abilities and characteristics of developing children. Nature refers to the genetically obtained characteristics and abilities that influence development while nurture refers to the surrounding environmental conditions that influence development. Without one or the other, a child may not develop some important skills, such as communication and walking. The roles of physiological and psychological needs in a person’s life are also crucial for developing children. Humanistic psychologist, Abraham Maslow, suggested that humans don’t only aim towards survival, but also aim towards self-actualization (Rathus, P. 94).
Developmental Psychology is an area which studies how we as humans change over the period of our life span. The majority of the focus is broken into three categories: cognitive, physical and social change. The creation of who we are today comes down to the everlasting debate of nature versus nurture. This ongoing debate of what makes us who we are and which one is the driving force in development may be so simple that it’s complex. Rather than it being a conflict of nature “versus” nurture, it is very well possible both play an equal part in the development of us as humans. In the beginning, we start off as single cell in the form of a zygote. In that moment, where the DNA begin to form and the first seconds of life take place, the zygote is already experiencing interaction with the womb. In the process of determining why we are who are it is better to look more at the interactions of nature and nurture, analyzing how both have shaped us.