Manners and Where They Should Be Taught In contemporary times, people, young and old, have lost the value of manners. Simple words such as "Please" and "Thank You" make a difference in the way we approach others. Being polite and respectful at all times with anyone, especially parents, teachers, classmates, and friends, is crucial for the development of our society over time. However, where do we learn these values? Even though schools teach manners and respectfulness, manners should be taught at home where respect and discipline lead to good social manners, better preparing individuals for society in the future. The best time to start educating a person is during the early elementary years.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA, 2015), at this age, the child starts to learn "both academically and socially. as [their] neural networks form." Manners start with knowing respect and discipline, including respect towards older people such as parents or teachers. A good way to start is by having the child help with chores. For example, a parent can ask their child to pick up their plate and put it in the dishes. Children need to grow up in an environment where these tasks become ordinary, not only because they are told to do them but because they see them being done (NEA, 2002-2015). When the teacher tells them to clean up the used toys or crayons, they will remember the tasks at home and do them without any problem. This is the first step that can only be accomplished when the child has a good foundation that starts at home and continues elsewhere, such as school. School alone cannot accomplish this, which highlights the importance of developing social manners. In reality, children and adolescents are taught about how to respond to a person, whether it is sarcastic or rude, but teenagers no longer seem to care.
Manners should be taught at home because that is where one's persona and character are formed through the way parents raise us. These customs must be a part of who every person is, not only because they are polite or correct, but because as humans, we have feelings and dignity that deserve respect. Learning manners at home helps individuals have a stronger foundation on what is correct to do based on respect and discipline, which applies to social manners that contribute to the social development of society. In the end, as one grows and matures with time, the decision we make every day is in our hands. We choose and control what we do or say, and it is up to us whether we want to keep a chaotic, manners-free society or make a difference and bring about change.
In the podcast, Politeness, Melyvn Bragg discusses the idea of politeness at the start of the 18th century. As mentioned, politeness is “a notion that implies care and the ability to recognize others feelings”. The guidelines for best behavior at the end of the 17th century was formed out of moderation, so going into the 18th century created a new world of contact and conversation through the development of coffeehouses. People discovered interaction through politeness, thus allowing them to deal with people inferior to them or to those who made them feel inferior. Melvyn brings up how the movement of politeness was essentially a reaction to the civil war that eventually laid foundations for a new world. The introduction of coffeehouses permitted the public to read The Spectator and embrace issues and arguments; which allowed it's readers to recognize problems and social issues. Melvyn brought up that conversation was how one learned politeness so that opposing people can meet on equal terms. As the civil war continued in politics, politeness became an attempt to making a difference in society and social life. It allowed people to speak to others regardless of rank and gender. He discusses how the growth of public space in coffeehouses was both a real place as well as a metaphorical one, which allowed opinion and publication so that people can read aloud and interact with others. An interesting point he mentioned was showing politeness through culture; that the whole idea of culture is displayed by reading and how/what you read. Also I found it interesting how manners are based on inner morality, but excessive manners can lead to manipulation and getting one's own way. Politeness brings philosophy to the table, thus ...
According to the ABC News survey, 73 percent of Americans feel manners are worse today than they were 20 or 30 years ago. Although character education is a hot topic in schools across the nation, education in maners often receives scant attention; with growing demands on teaching time, etiquette is rarely a priority. It might be a mistake to ignore the adage that actions speak louder than words, however. Teachers who teach manners said they notice a real difference in students' attitudes, in the way they treat one another, and in their schoolwork. Although some might say that manners are to be taught from the parents, the places children learn to socialize are not only at home, but also at school; it is their second home. A child either learns different moral values from his home or from his school. These days with both of the parents working, a child rarely gets the opportunity to learn moral and social values from home. In the past, although the parents were working, grandparents took care of their grandchildren and taught them important lessons of life, however, this is no longer prevalent as more and more families get unconcerned of teaching manners to young people. Of course not all the parents are failing to teach manners, but it is surprising to see many adults who do not know the correct ways of being respectful. Then how are they to educate their children? Thus, the only way we can ensure our future generation to learn etiquette is by schools.
Many children begin school at the ages of 5 or 6, the age when a child enters kindergarten. However, children?s learning capabilities are at there peak at earlier ages than that. Alison Gopnik, a professor of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley says, ?Children learn more in their early years than they ever will again. With the dissolution of the extended family, the best way to support early learning is with publicly funded pre-K? (Starr, 2002). Their brains are more primed to learn and will absorb more information earlier in life. Therefore the earlier children begin their education, the better. It is through these programs that the children learn proper etiquettes when dealing with teachers and fellow students. ?Children who attend well-planned, high quality programs?tend to learn more and are better prepared to successfully master the complex demands of formal schooling,? says one government commissioned review of research on early childhood education (Ruben, 2000/2001).
There are many school-wide behavior expectations that will included in my future planning to establish a learning environment and decrease disruptions in the classroom. For this reason, I will teach social behavior to students during my lecture and provide opportunities so they can interact among each other. According to Flannery and Fenning (2014), teachers need to recognize and respond to the need to teach appropriate social behavior at the same time they are teaching the specific lesson (Flannery & Fenning, 2014). I chose these expectations mainly because it helps students meet their needs with a positive behavior and provide opportunities for students to develop social skills. Teachers need to provide opportunities for all students to practice and enhance their social skills (Banks & Obiakor, 2015). Another reason why I chose these expectations is because it enhances student’s positive behavior of culturally and linguistically diverse students. For instance, different resources will be assigned to students where they will be able to practice their skills and change their attitude to become better citizens. For this reason, schools must begin focusing on providing students the skills, attitudes, and knowledge they will need to be successful in the pluralistic and interdependent world in which students will live and work as adults (Diaz-Rico, 2014). Providing meaningful
When you were a kid, your parents most likely told you things like “hold the door open for the person behind you” or “chew with your mouth closed”. Have you ever wondered why you had to do these things? Phrases like these are considered to be social norms. Norms are rules or behaviors that are found acceptable by a society. People should be aware of the norms within their society because there are often sanctions associated with them. If someone follows a norm, they are likely to receive a positive sanction, such as a compliment or a smile. If someone breaks a norm, they could receive a frown or be publicly humiliated. These norms vary among different societies and cultures and can lead to conflict when these different
Many people say that manners are on a decline. It is perceived that people are generally rude. I'm here to report that this is not true. In my two and a half years of experience in retail, I have met and dealt with hundreds of people. I have found that as long as you are courteous, trustful, and empathetic, people can't help but reciprocate these feelings towards you
“Give me a bowl of special noodle. Where were you at? I’m waiting you for a long time. Hurry up!” The man shouted at the waitress in the very crowded restaurant and didn’t even give her a look. She didn’t reply but went back to the kitchen. That was a case that I witnessed in the restaurant next to my house. Therefore, when I read the article “Can I Get You Some Manners with That?” written by Christie Scotty, I can understand why Scotty feels kind of angry when the way others treat her depend on her jobs. I agree with her in part, but I believe not all people treat other that way.
During the sixteenth century, everyone was required to have the proper court etiquette. The nobles developed elaborated social customs and decided to name these rules, etiquette. After the nobles' establishment, the "'secret code of behavior' was discovered, [and] the trend spread throughout Europe" as well as the rest of the world (Royal Etiquette: What is Etiquette and how it Started 2011). It may not have been very easy to have proper decorum, but the people still followed these rules. Most of our modern customs are based off of this sixteenth century court etiquette.
The school teacher is appealing to the values of older generations who were raised to have good manners. Grandparents and parents of Millennials have noticed a decline in the manners and etiquette of today’s young people. This decline is prevalent at home, in the classroom, and even with their peers. It is upsetting that in modern society, young people refuse to exchange so much as a wave or handshake to another who has aided them in any way. Children and adolescents now feel that it is socially acceptable and respectful to treat their parents, grandparents, and elders as if they are their peers. If manners are not developed by the Millennial generation at home, then they surely will not be shown to others that are not in the child’s family. The decline of society today is beginning with parents that are too afraid to discipline their children and are too concerned with making friends with them. This teaches the young child that respect is not important when conversing with elders or those in positions of authority. The reality of the fact is that if children should be giving any respect at all, it should be to those that are significantly older than they
My mom portrays modesty and politeness perfectly on a day to day basis. Her modesty is seen in her ability to take compliments, such as papers written about her excellence, without them going to her head. She also makes sure that whoever she’s interacting with feels honored by firing compliments at them and acknowledging their accomplishments. For example, at dinner parties and get-togethers she can always be found keeping the focus off of herself by praising the other person’s qualities.
Swarbrick, N. (2013, July 8). Manners and social behaviour - A guide to modern New Zealand manners. Retrieved from Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand: http://www.teara.govt.nz/en/manners-and-social-behaviour/page-7
In my life I would definitely say I 've seen some people with bad manners. I know for a fact that I also have bad manners but I 've never been rude to anyone. Understanding that we need to stop judging each other and instead love each other will take us one step closer to some peace in this world. At the end of the day we need to work on encouragement and positive thoughts for other people. If more people thought before they acted there would definitely be less conflict and more building for the future.
When you use a knife, the tip of your index finger should rest on the upper blade. 2. Don’t Talk or Text on Your PhoneCellphones should NOT be answered during a meal. In the event of an emergency, apologize beforehand for having to answer your phone. Then, leave the table and talk outside of the room. 3. Follow the Lead Follow the lead of your host. If your host orders a dessert, you can order a dessert. If your host orders alcohol, you may order alcohol unless you’ve been told otherwise. Following along demonstrates polite behavior and respect for your host. 4. Be Nice to EveryoneBeing nice to others in all scenarios is a very important rule of etiquette. You may not always know which fork is appropriate to use, but most people will forgive you for that small infraction. However, being rude to others is a behavior that is not easily overlooked. 5. Know How to Pass Foods are offered to the left, but passed to the right. If you need something you cannot reach, politely ask the person closest to the
The most important thing a child could learn while in pre-kindergarten is their social skills. These skills are a major part that everyone needs to strive in this society. Social skills that are learned early in life have a big impact on them and can take them far in life. When this skill is learned in school the children are more at ease and considerate of others. This can be found in playing with each other children, sharing their toys,and being able to control their anger that other children might cause.
Child behavior have changed throughout years because the environment is now more safer and handled. The main reasons why children treats others with respect and with honor are because better parenting today, the society of children, and education is better now. Society changed children to express themselves in an uninhibited way. They now accept everything they are told and they challenge it. Children are now much more self reliant because of their exposure to globalization. In addition, well-behaved has changed and now children sit obediently and quietly because adults know to teach their children with manners. Children today demonstrate time after time they can accept hard responsibility and show their respectful attitude to others and for