The night that I decided life was not worth living was probably the biggest mistake I have ever made. This decision had many negative consequences that followed it but brought about a change in my life. Since then I have tried not to put a lot of thought into or analyze how I reached that point in my life or even analyze why I made that decision. I never thought about the outcome or the consequences to my actions. These things never crossed my mind as I made my decision.
For years, I had suffered from a dark, dull feeling. This thing consumed my days, day in and day out. I would wake up feeling nothing and go to bed feeling nothing. Everything that I once enjoyed no longer brought me happiness. Sleep became one of the only things that brought me some form of relief. My mind seemed to turn on itself and filled itself with so many dark and harmful thoughts. Isolation became a necessity for me but also made me feel more alone. This thing stole years of my life, ruined relationships, and became who I was. This thing is depression. Depression affects so many people worldwide and does not discriminate. It is an illness in one’s brain that can be chemical and/or situational. For me it was...
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... get better. I was convinced that no amount of talking or reassurance could ever reassure me that I could somehow see the “light”. My all-or-nothing thinking blocked me from seeing and hearing the fact that I could get better. That I had many other options than the one my mind had locked on to.
Overall, after analyzing it is clear than my decision was not a good one at all. My thinking had been impaired and I had not been thinking clearly. After using Nosich’s elements of reasoning it became easier to understand the reason as to why I made my decision and Nosich’s Impediments to understand my blocked thinking. My decision was not a good one and lead to many consequences that I still face today but has lead me to a new understanding and to a new place in life where I have been able to get the help I need and to grow and think things through before I actually do them.
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