Essentially a new wife/stepmother struggles with her growing awareness of her stepson’s obsessive affection and attraction towards her. Unable to control her own sexual desires she embarks on a forbidden and disturbing journey.
While the concept of a stepson’s unnerving attraction to his stepmother has merit and could definitely make for an unsettling psychological thriller, the script would benefit from more development.
There are several concerns that are worth discussing. The first concern is the idea of an adult having sex with a child. Most of the scenes in the script can’t be shown. There are laws against showing adults having sex with children or showing a naked minor.
In addition, even the idea of a female adult having sex with her 10-year-old stepson will dissuade some producers and agents from considering the script. It’s a taboo subject. While there are films about child sexual abuse, they remain a sensitive topic for film. It can be risky.
One solution is to have Fonchito frame and set up the situations to make it look like Lucrecia has been having a sexual relationship with him, but she really hasn’t. He could setup the situations in which it looks like she’s inappropriate.
The other concern about the script is the structure. The main storyline focuses on the relationship between Lucrecia and Fonchito.
Consider the idea that when she learns about his obsession with her, that she tries to first get him help by sending him to a therapist. The protagonist has to have a plan of action and that plan has to fail. So, sho...
... middle of paper ...
...45). Avoid having a character talk to one’s self (page 4). Lucrecia sounds like she’s saying the same thing when she says: “Are you for real?” and then “Are you serious?” Jose in one moment asks too many questions (page 30). The cops on page 32 sound stiff. One would doubt that Fonchito would really say, “Chip off the old block?”
SUMMARY & MARKETABILITY
Psychological thrillers and erotic thrillers can be marketable (FATAL ATTRACTION, BASIC INSTINCT), but the idea of an adult woman having sex with a minor can’t be shown and the idea will be challenging to market.
The suggestion is for the boy to set up his stepmother to make it look like they are having a relationship.
Restructure the script to incorporate more smoothly the plot about the murder.
Trim the dialogue and be less graphic.
Elevate the tension in the third act.
Enhance the professional presentation.
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