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Benefits of helicopter parenting
An essay on the effects of helicopter parenting
What are the negative effects of helicopter parents
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College is a time for kids to really learn things about themselves, like how much beer they can drink and still get up in the morning for class( only kidding...not really). When a kid goes off to college they are really gaining independence from their parents, they no longer have to ask someone what to do next. However, college professors are finding it very common that this generation of parents are involving themselves with their child’s college life way too often. These parents are finding it hard to let their child figure things out for themselves, which has a very negative effect on students as they never experience failure. These types of people are known as “Helicopter Parents”, always waiting for something to go wrong so they can save A psychologist at Indiana University, Chris Meno counsels over-parented college kids and often tells them that before calling home, be sure to think about the ways you can solve your problems on your own. Helicopter parents can be identified by hovering over their child and ready to save them when something goes wrong. It is not uncommon for helicopter parents to call in about their child’s college assignments that they did not perform well on. It is also not uncommon for these kids to be calling their parents 3 or maybe even 4 times a day. Although, it is good that these kids have a good relationship with their parents, the kids are unable to develop self confidence on their own. The kids with helicopter parents are not able to problem solve on their own, causing anxiety and often depression. If a child is not able to be independent during college, they are going to have an even harder time after college finding a job because they still cannot figure things out for themselves. Chris Meno “Helicopter When I log onto Facebook, I see parents writing paragraphs upon paragraphs about their children’s accomplishments looking for appraisal, and for what reason? I believe some parents use social media just to compete with other parents to see who raised their kids the best. Facebook and other social media outlets are just showcases to make people’s lives seem perfect, when in reality everybody has problems they face everyday. Now for some parents whose kids are probably doing okay, but maybe not to others’ standards they see these posts and feel bad that they maybe not gave their child the opportunities they need to
In the article “Helicopter Parents Now Hover at the Office,” The Wall Street Journal columnist Sue Shellenbarger reveals that some parents have begun to involve themselves into their adult children’s job search. Shellenbarger explains that many parent have a hard time watching their child struggle since they have taken part in their daily lives for so long. She then describes that some children do not appreciate the hovering of their parents because the hovering prevents them from developing self independence.
While her argument is strong in bringing valuable date of college students into place, there is no specific statistic on how many parents hover over their children; in fact, there might not be any way to measure how many parents are “helicopter parents.” There is a spectrum in Sociology that ranges from being permissive, authoritative, or authoritarian. A permissive parent is defined as being “nondemanding and noncontrolling” (University of New Hampshire). An authoritative is defined as being both “demanding and controlling, but they are also warm and receptive to their children’s needs.” while an authoritarian is considered to be “demanding and highly controlling, but detached and unreceptive to their children’s needs” (UNH). From Lythcott-Haims’ discussion about the girl having her father control her life including her major in economics, her father would probably be described as an authoritarian parent with him not letting her make her decisions. Even though this spectrum may bring a better idea on what kinds of parents are, it still doesn’t show numbers on how many parents fall into each category and that may because of how difficult it would be to fall into one parent style when it’s possible to fall in the middle of certain categories. Because of this, the number of helicopter parents might not be
Coming to college as an adult, we have many expectations and preconceptions of what college will or will not be. The expectations we have can influence our college life for the better or the worse. My experience since starting college has been an interesting one. People have misconceptions about college because they do not know what to expect. After doing some research, I have concluded that there are three major factors that are often misunderstood about college life. The first is the financial aspect of college. Second, is the relationship between the professors and students. Third is time management. These three factors play an important role in why people are afraid to go down the path to college.
Students entering college for the first time become concern with their college life. The students are on their own once they enter college. There are no parents or guardians telling them when to do homework, when to go to bed, or how to eat healthy. These student are now responsible on how they are going to succeed in school and meet their own needs. From the beginning, these students wonder what their experience is going to be like and are they going to handle the demands from college. Students are becoming more stressful due to academic demands, social life, and work. First-year college students should receive more help from school to learn how to help themselves and become independent.
Although perhaps supportive of higher education their parents and Family members may view their entry into college as a break in the family system rather than a continuation of their schooling. In families, role assignments about work, family, religion and community are passed down through the generations creating intergenerational continuity. When a family member disrupts this system by choosing to attend college, he or she experiences a shift in identity, leading to a sense of loss. Not-prepared for this loss, many first-generation students may come to develop two different identities one for home and another for college, the student might feel he needs to do better in college then his parents. So the student might start feeling the pressure, that there is too much going on in his life and at home, because the parent is putting too much pressure to do better but the student just can’t stay focus on their studies, and they eventually will develop low grades he or she might just drop out of school, the parent might want them to work and go to school that could be difficult for the student. A student need to be successful in college to succeed, parent needs to be more supportive, and maybe their child can finish
Helicopter parenting is a phenomenon that has taken the United States by storm! This style of parenting raises children to be dependent on their parents well into their mature years. Julia Lynthcott- Haims explains the four main factors that are responsible for this shift in parenting and childhood in the excerpt “The Four Cultural Shifts that Led to the Rise of the Helicopter Parent” in her book How to Raise an Adult. The “shifts” Haims proposes are juxtaposed with examples of how parenting has evolved to convey how the childrearing has transformed. The author attributes the helicopter phenomenon to four events that began in 1980s: child abductions becoming publicized, the idea that children were not doing enough schoolwork,
Ultimately, what is at stake here is the fact that parents are making excuses for students who do not want to work hard in school or are not able to handle it, therefore, parents need to stop making excuses for adults and let them decide their paths in life. If parents stop excusing their kids, then teachers can continue the challenging work for student resilience to increase. College is a privilege, not every child in the world can experience and no one said it would be easy, but no one said it was acceptable to hold each student’s hand for the ride
Since I grew up in a household with two parents who are college graduates, and even two grandparents who had graduated from college, the idea of attending college was never seen as a unique opportunity, but rather as a necessary part of my future. I’m not going to complain about growing up with parents who valued the pursuit of knowledge, but it certainly never exposed me to the mindset that maybe college is not the best option for everyone after high school. Today, there is a huge debate over if the price of college is really worth it in the end, with the high cost of tuition and the number of people who just aren’t prepared for the demands that college has to offer. And on the other side, some say that college is a necessity not just in one’s
However, for children of helicopter parents this is often the opposite of what happens. Often these students feel overwhelmed, and feature high levels of anxiety (Reed, 2016). The support of a parent, for a child entering college, can be greatly beneficial in reducing stress, and helping them more easily adjust to their new responsibilities. However, with helicopter parents, they provide two much support, that hinders the student’s development and adjustment to new situations. Kayla Reed, et al (2016), developed a study to examine the well-being of college students with helicopter parents. Their study consisted of 461 college students, who were asked to complete an online questionnaire. This questionnaire included an depression inventory, a self-efficacy scale, a helicopter parenting survey, and a few other related scales. The results of their study indicated that the majority of participants had low levels of helicopter parentings. However, the findings for those, who did measure as having helicopter parents, findings were as expected. As per other research has indicated, these students had higher levels of anxiety, depression, low self-worth, and little to no coping
Before World War II, attending college was a privilege, usually reserved for the upper class, but, in today’s society scholarships, grants, and loans are available to the average student which has made pursuing a college education a social norm. Norms are usually good, they help keep society run in an organized manner by sharing common rules and values. But, when pursuing a college education becomes a norm, it does more destruction than good. For a lot of students, a major reason for attending college is because their parents tell them it’s the thing to do to become successful in life.
In this day and age, the media labels overbearing parents as helicopter parents, and the label itself has taken on a negative light due to the guilt by association. The ‘popular’ definition of helicopter parenting come from the ‘extreme’ cases (Jayson 5). The extreme cases in the news are just that, extreme cases; they do not depict helicopter parenting in general, and have been given the name Blackhawks (“Liftoff for ‘Helicopter’ Parents”). The idea of helicoptering has become a misguided ‘negative portrait’ by media using the term and ‘over parenting synonymously’, but the two terms should be used so. They are very different; over parenting is when a parent does not let the child think for themselves (Aucoin). Over parenting and helicopter parenting are not synonyms, but they are not quite antonyms. Helicoptering can become oppressive parents quite easily. Another side of over parenting is the side that ‘expects… immediate compliance’ to orders without giving reasoning. This style can cause below average ‘self-esteem… self-reliance and… social skills’ (McDevitt and Ormrod). The regular helicopter parenting is more common than what would be assumed as a study shows ‘60 to 70 percent’ of college parents have ‘some helicoptering behavior...
It seems as though the majority of college students these days aren’t looking to further their education because it’s what they really want, they do it to please their parents, to be accepted by society, or because there’s nothing else for them to do (Bird, 372). These expectations have led to students being unhappy and stressed, and have pushed them into a school or a job that they don’t particularly care for.
Most parents take an interest in their child’s life from birth until they become an adult by picking and choosing what is best for them as much as they possibly can. Parents want to help their children to be as perfect as they can make them. Typically hovering parents spend a lot of money, time, and effort filling schedules things like with dance classes, baseball, and tutoring in order to have a ‘perfect’ child. As well as coming to their aid when they are in need, or their defense when they are in trouble. Help in making important, life changing decisions, like where to go to college at, or which career to pursue. When does helping become hovering? The generation of “Helicopter Parents” is becoming more and more prevalent in families. A helicopter parent is a guardian who is hanging over the head of their college-age son or daughter. Helicopter parents typically do whatever necessary to lead their child to success. This controversy has many suggesting it is actually making a positive impact in the next generation, some think not. I question if the next generation of young people will be able to think for themselves? If so, will the decisions they must make in life be adult decisions? Hovering parents are hurting society more than helping it because the next generation is not learning how to be responsible for their actions and make their own choices.
Most students are introduced to a whole new world when coming to college. For many, it is the first time they are on their own. College is a very different culture than high school. It takes time for most students to get acclimated to the college lifestyle. During a college student’s years at college they will partake in situations they never dealt with before. Most have never been to parties that last till about 4am with all the alcohol they can drink. A lot are also not used to having to share a bedroom with one or more persons, the heavy work load in the classrooms, and for some actually paying school tuition. The day to day college life is different for majority of first time college students.
There has been controversy as to whether parents should limit the use of social media by teenagers. Teenagers feel that there is no need to limit the use of their social media networking, but on the other hand, parents should feel the need to limit their use and also keep track of their teen’s social networking. Social media allows students to be connected with their peers, teens who post positive status are more likely to be involved in extracurricular activities, and for many teens putting up “selfies” is a self confidence boost; however, too much social media can affect students GPA in school, cyber bullying can affect social health. Social media networks can give out personal information. Social media sites such as Facebook are one of the most popular social media sites that has 700,000-750,000 members joining each day.