Reconcilable Differences: The Importance Of Conflict In Relationships

When couples become romantically involved with one another, obviously, they cannot be expected to agree on everything at all times. Conflict becomes a normal part of every relationship. Some say it is harmful because it can lead to hatred. Some say it is beneficial for the relationship because it is a learning lesson on how to deal a problem in a healthy way. I say it can be both good and bad depending on how people manage it. If a conflict is not handled appropriately, it can really damage the relationship which can also affect the people around us. When conflict is managed in a positive way, it gives us many opportunities learn more about ourselves, as well as our partners. It can also help us grow maturely which can strengthen our relationship.

In the book, Reconcilable Differences, the authors explained, “While we typically think of communication as meaning how we talk or how our partners talk, there is another important part of communication to consider: how we and our partners listen” (Christensen et al. 249). When we completely listen to what our partner is saying, we can totally connect to our own needs and emotions. Listening gives us an opportunity to truly understand what the issue is about and makes it easier for others to actually hear us. Based on my interview I conducted, about 100% women stated that their partners could hear them but never actually listen to what they were trying to say, nor understand how they feel about the issue. Also, improving our non-verbal communication, like eye-contact, facial expression, gesture or posture, can help resolve conflicts between couples. The author of Diagnosis: Married emphasizes, “Communication, either verbal or non-verbal, is the most important element in any relationship” (Dawson 1). These non-verbal signals may help us figure out the root of the problem. A good example is whenever I feel upset about laundry, my husband would notice the way I roll my eyes and shake my head while I’m sorting the clothes. At that point, he knows that I am tired and need his