My ex-wife saw me as a paycheck and some arm candy to use while I was in the United States Marine Corps uniform. As far as emotional connections go, when we got married that went by the wayside. Once this started, my ex-wife saw me as a means, not as an end being another human. Immanuel Kant came up with the means-ends principle that states “The rule that we must always treat people (including ourselves) as ends in themselves, as creatures of great intrinsic worth, never merely as things of instrumental value, never merely as tools to be used for someone else’s purpose” (Vaughn 105). According to Kant, “persons have intrinsic value and dignity because they, unlike the rest of creation, are rational agents who are free to choose their own ends, legislate their own moral laws, and assign value to things in the world. They therefore must always be treated as ultimate ends and never merely as means” (Vaughn 105).
This ethical principle is what my ex-wife was lacking after we were married. She decided that I was just a means to pay the bills and help create our children. The verbal and emotional abuse became so common that if there was none of it on any ...
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...ure out “what should I do?” A utilitarian takes into account what would be best for all parties in any given situation. Clearly the best result for all persons would be if I chose to deny the affair and put that focus into fixing my marriage. By using the utilitarian view along with the categorical imperative and virtue ethics, I was able to come to the correct answer of denying this woman an affair. This not only saved all people from dealing with negative consequences, it also saved my marriage at that time. This moral dilemma taught me that no matter how bad things may get, how emotionally distraught one may be, there is absolutely no room for putting others at risk for personal desires. I have been able to take subsequent situations and apply what I have learned to make the correct choice by putting my wants to the side and make sure all people get to win.
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