Essay on I Had The Sensation That You Don 't Belong From A Place?

Essay on I Had The Sensation That You Don 't Belong From A Place?

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Have you ever had the sensation that you don’t belong in a place? I have. Growing up I felt that I was not a part of my family. Please, do not get me wrong, I love my family. However, our ideas were so different, the way we think and act. From time to time, my family used to joke that maybe the doctors changed me at the hospital because I looked like an outsider. Those jokes only reminded me that I did not fit here. I remember that often when I got home from school, I would find my mother sitting at the kitchen table in the dark and crying. Sometimes she would say to me and my brothers that we were unthankful, and that we do not love her enough. She would say things like that and be feeling blue, her moods ' swings would last for a week or months. Every time I saw my mother like that it bothered me deeply. I would run from school and go straight home; clean the house, do the laundry, and make food. My brothers used to say that I was so domesticated, and that I was training to get married and be a housewife. Those jokes disturbed me immensely. How can they not see that these phases that mom goes through were not normal? How can they be okay with that, and do nothing to help? I was the youngest, and very young to take this much weight and pressure on my back, and on my own. I was exhausted trying to be my family housekeeper, and a student at the same time. My mother never saw my play at the school, and she never saw me performing. She used to refer to these plays at school as a joke, not even realizing how much it was hurting me. When I turned 16 years old, I applied for the army school in Brazil, I was a chance to get free school and a job after the program was done. I studied so hard, and I passed the test. My mother was opposed t...


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...husband even comments that I am nothing like my family. My mother called me one day and told me, “I know you are happy, and I am happy for you. You are the best present a mother can have; you are my rock. I am okay. I love you." This day I realized that I was a control freak, and I felt like an outsider because I tried to change the situation, rather than accept that there are only so many things I can do.
Today it makes sense to me why she did not let me go to boarding school. She knew that I was there for her, and she needed me there when she was not feeling her best. Last year on my birthday, my brother tried to kill himself. We learned that he is bipolar. It broke my heart. However, this year he sent me pictures of him in the beach riding his bike looking happy. He doesn 't know, but that was the best birthday present I could ever ask for.


Thanks.



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