The process of knowing and understanding your true self can feel like a marathon. Often hearing the phrase “discovery of self” causes me to hurl because of the saturation of its use making the phrase an absolute cliché. Although it may seem Meaningless at times, the cliché’s original meaning has gained a new importance in my life now that I am transitioning into a position of independence. Knowing myself does not seem to be a Herculean task, but I find myself at age seventeen and I have only seen a glimmer of my inner thoughts and nature. The effortless thing to do is to follow the crowd and be pushed into a position of who your peers assume you are allowing no room for growth. The further I progress in life I find myself more influenced by my peers and forced to abide by social conventions never allowing me to be myself. Through this time of adversity my true self can emerge, and it is evident I am a sage, seeker, and creator.
For example, last summer, my nature as a creator became evident to me. It started just like every summer before. The days started to become scorching hot and the nights stale and short. The days became just as busy as a regular school day with sporting events, social outings, and summer school at Mission. The days proceeded with event after event and it became a routine to keep me occupied. Suddenly, in the middle of the summer everything was finished all at once. I wrote my last essay for class, my friends started to go on vacations, and basketball’s summer league played its last game. Suddenly, I found myself isolated in a dark room with no air-conditioning on a blazing hot day. As a creator I am “[a]dverse to stasis, it can cause [me] to overload [my life] with constant new projects,” and that what I ...
... middle of paper ...
...ged, I learned that I am truly a seeker and I need to satisfy my need to just explore the unknown.
Ultimately, These traits are the strongest and can be seen in different aspects of my life. I am so much of the creator that I find pre-faded jeans to be unauthentic ( I still get them) because they don’t tell a story. When my friends think I have zoned out half the time I am actually intensely focused on my thoughts acting like a true sage. Also, nothing seems to satisfy me. I keep pushing on because that is what a seeker does. Even though I know a fair amount about myself now I can’t help but feel lost. Probably because I am just a spoiled brat that overzealously talks about how smart I think I am; all this occurs while I receive low-test scores. All I can is trudge on and hope a better understanding of myself comes along before it is too late. Growing up is a pain.
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