Essay on I Am On The Level Of Trust

Essay on I Am On The Level Of Trust

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Deb, I started writing this before we discussed this in person and at counseling so some of it is overlap. But you say I dont share enough..... well, my apologies, here is me sharing. As a follow up..., please know, except for in the very beginning of the discovery, I rarely ever looked on your phone (And definitely not in more recent times). I hope you realize the level of trust I give you on a daily basis despite a whole year of you, to be completely honest, lying to me and taking advantage of my very naive trust. Like you mentioned from all your reading , If I really wanted to be on of those crazy over the top "betrayed spouses" I could install all those weird tracking apps you told me about. All that is crazy. I think/hope you realize that 's just not me. If I were to have that much distrust in you, then in my mind, it wouldn 't be worth continuing the marriage. Because that would mean you were giving me some real serious reasons why I shouldn 't trust you again. I think you 'd agree on that and you mentioned the same the other day. And again to be honest my major triggers are 1) THAT phone, 2) you going out on your own with vague details (which is normal life for the most part), or 3) if you 're out somewhere taking longer than you normally would. Because remember.....that 's how I was deceived all those months. Telling me one thing you were doing and doing another. Many times if you could squeeze in a visit with him while running errands or out for whatever reason, you would do it. So for example, even something as simple as you driving to the Wishing Well the other day (not today) (to get our family food which I 'm very grateful for). On our drive home that day from somewhere together you said you were going straight to the...


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...ovement in me. I WANT to make this work and I love you. Why the hell else would I be putting in all this hard work? I never stopped loving you despite you "leaving" me for another man and falling in love with him. But it 's so so hard. And this had just been a very difficult week - as I know it was for you too. I appreciate all the extra things you 're doing around the house and with the boys and work and driving everywhere. I recognize and appreciate ALL of it. Thank you. And I really enjoyed our walk today. Can we please do that everyday? Don 't feel compelled to respond to this in great detail. There 's a lot here. You 've mentioned that i don 't open up and share with you my feelings. Well, be careful what you ask for ;-) So I felt compelled to explain myself a bit more on this subject since I don 't always do that very well in person. Sorry for the thesis. Xoxo

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