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Divorce Impacts a Child Emotionally, Mentally and Academically
Over 60 percent of couples seeking a divorce have children still living at home. ( 6) What some parents don’t realize when they file for a divorce is the great impact that it will have on their kids. Divorce affects children in many ways. It affects kids emotionally and causes them to experience feelings such as fear, loss, anger and confusion. Divorce also hurts a child’s academic achievement. Children whose parents divorce generally have poorer scores on tests and a higher dropout rate. (3)
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.
Young children, up to age five or six, are the most confused and the most disoriented by their parents’ separation. They often fear they are going to be abandoned by their parents, which causes great anxiety. The loss of a parent is extremely sad to a child of this age because they feel that their needs are not going to be attended to as well as they had before, when their needs are not going to be attended to as well as they had before, when their family was together. Many of the children in this group are worried that they will be left without a family or their parents might have money troubles and they will be deprived of food and toys. These thoughts that children of this age have cause them to have feelings of guilt, being unloved and fear of being alone. Some children will be extremely sad and show signs of depression and even sleeplessness. They might feel rejected by the parent who left and think that it is all their fault, that they weren’t good children and their parents stopped loving them. They also sometimes have increased tantrums, or may cry more easily than usual. Children at this age may develop physical complaints, like headaches, or stomachaches due to this depressing situation and time they are going thr...
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...ng up in a single-parent home (usually female-headed) is seven times as likely to be a delinquent. The rate of violent crime and burglary is related to the number of single parent households with children aged twelve to twenty. (1)In a new study of 72 adolescent murders and 35 adolescent thieves, researches for Michigan State University demonstrated that the overwhelming majority of teenage criminals live with only one parent. Fully 75 percent of those charged with homicide had parents who were either divorced or had never been married at all.( 5)
So, in conclusion, divorce is very bad for children. It ruins their lives and happiness. Losing a parent destroys a child emotionally, mentally and even academically. They would rather live with both parents because both of them are an important part of their lives. Two parents are better than one!
Bibliography:
1) http://www.alfra.org/risks2.htm
2) http://www.canadianparents.com/articles/feature08b.htm
3) http://www.divorcereform.org/crime.html
4) http://www.ksu.edu/psych/bartel/adolescence/divorce-yes.html
5) http://www.theallengroup.com/members/Fr_flammer.html
6) http://www.womentodaymagazine.com/family/kidsdivorce.html
Arjun feels ignored because of his mother’s attitude, “When Arjun left the room, his mother’s footsteps did not follow him, as they so often had in old house. Once as he loudly dragged his feet he heard the man saying, let him be, he is growing up, you have to give him space” (Kapur 148). The worse happened in the form of his admission in a boarding school, which left Raman at the back foot. It is the tragic plight of children that in spite of having parents they had to go to boarding school. Dr. Carl Pickhardt narrates the effects of divorce on children’s psyche in his article, The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents:
The dissolution of a marriage, or ‘divorce’ as it is known, was once an infrequent occurrence and often considered the failure of a wife to maintain a happy marriage (Lewis, 2013). Following a change in legislation in the 1960s that allowed partners to end their marriage without having to provide justification, in conjunction with the sexual liberation movement, the incidence of divorce more than doubled (Wilcox, 2009). According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (2012), the number of marriages ending in divorce has continued to rise, however, despite an increase in social acceptance, the negative impact divorce has on children has remained prevalent (Kelly & Emery, 2004). It is imperative for researchers to assess the repercussions of divorce in order to learn how to efficiently minimise the negative impact it has on those involved. Studies have shown that children of divorce often experience high levels of psychological distress due to the alteration of family dynamics, as well as the experience of loss, grief and the fear of abandonment (Kelly, 2000). Such powerful disruptions within a child’s microsystem can result in ongoing behavioural difficulties, as the child may have developed destructive schemas during the times of considerable stress (Kim, 2011). An increase in stress can be detrimental to the child’s social and academic performance, which could contribute to lifelong complications (Potter, 2010). Despite this, it is important to remember that whilst the process of divorce and its aftermath can create significant emotional disturbance for some, it also marks the dissolution of an unhealthy relationship, which can result in the cessation of exposure to negativity, such as arguments and fighting, for others (Strohs...
Children of divorced parents may have a lower sense of psychological well-being than children who grew up with intact families the range of feelings that a child may encounter include: disbelief and denial, sadness, loss, loneliness, depression, anger, anxiety, fear, relief, and hope. Some children may experience long-lasting emotional effects into their adulthood that damage their ability to preserve relationships. The result of parental divorce shapes children emotionally and may impact self-esteem, future relationships, dating and marriage (Armando Loomis and Booth 895+)..
The dramatic rise in the rate of divorce in the United States between 1960 and 1980 is well known, and even more so are the high divorce rates over the past twenty years. In 1970, twelve percent of American families with children under age eighteen were headed by single parents, and by 1984, one-fourth of American families and nearly sixty percent of black families were headed by single parents (Demo & Acock, 1988, p. 619). These high divorce rates have resulted in numerous changes in American family life. While predictions vary, the consensus is that most youth will spend some time prior to age eighteen in a single-parent household based on recent social and demographic trends. Individuals with divorced parents are at increased risk of experiencing psychological problems in adulthood (Amato & Sobolewski, 2001, p. 900). Growing up divorced has become an alternative developmental path for a substantial number of children in this country (Kalter, 1987, p. 587). These trends in family composition have major repercussions for the life course of children and their well-being. Studies have shown that adults with divorced parents, when compared with adults with continuously married parents, report to greater unhappiness, less satisfaction with life, a weaker sense of control, more symptoms of anxiety and depression, and a greater use of mental health services. Overall, most children of divorced parents have experienced dramatic declines in their economic circumstances, abandonment by one or both of their parents, the diminished capacity of both parents to attend meaningfully and constructively to their children’s needs, and diminished contact with many familiar or potential sources of psychological support.
They have to get used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender, and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how to act on children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
When a couple with a child chooses to get a divorce this can have major impact on a child at any age. There are many causes of stress throughout the divorce process that can negatively affect children. First, negative reactions and behaviors are dependent upon the situation before the divorce. Some studies show that how much parents fight, how it is done, how it is resolved, and what precautions are taken to protect the children from it's effects are the most important predictors of child adjustment (Kelly, 2000). Meaning that if children are exposed to fights about custody, money, or the failing marriage they could feel the repercussions of their parents conflict. Next, divorce can cause children to have heightened fear...
In older times, women were responsible for the entire household work. But today, the scenario has completely changed. Now men and women are equally accountable for the household work. Even though the responsibilities have been shared, yet the divorce rate is increasing steadily. Today’s generation couples divorce due to several reasons. This includes fighting and anger between the couples or love for each other has changed. Other reason may be parent fall in love with someone else. Sometimes due to serious problem such as drinking, gambling, and spouse abuse. Financial issues or sharing duties can also be major reason for divorce. Each and every reasons of divorce affect the children’s life differently. In spite of all these reasons, majority of parents don’t care, what will be the affects of divorce on children’s life. How these innocent children handle and adapt to the new environment. Divorce can have both positive and negative affect on children’s life.
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
Children can suffer from, fear, grief, anger, depression, shame, sadness, anxiety, embarrassment, self-blame, abandonment, and many other things. (Borden, 2015). There is no guarantee that if a child goes through a divorce that they will experience any or all of these things and there is no guarantee that they would not experience these things if a divorce did not happen as well. A divorce definitely would not help the child in this area and it would be in the best interest of the parents for a divorce to not happen if children were
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.
Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious. Younger children may begin to cling to the parent that remains in the home with them for they fear that both parents will eventually leave them. Older children may begin to rebel or become extremely disobedient and disrespectful. You may see unpleasant attitudes develop and they can become unsocial and no longer desire to be around their friends. Most children feel guilty for their parent’s ...
There are a lot of emotional tolls that come from it as well. The divorce alone is not the only thing that causes children to act in such a negative way. Fighting that occurs in the household causes increased reactions to the situation (Oppawsky, 2000). As anyone would guess precursors to divorce and divorce lead to more crying. It is not just more crying though, it also children are crying for longer periods of time (Oppawsky, 2000). Thinking about it, it makes sense for this to occur. Divorce is a sad time for any child because no one wants to see his or her parents split up. In Oppawsky’s (2000), report children also experienced different variations of sadness as well as feeling shame with what was occurring in their family unit. Problems with emotional instability arise when children start to express anger towards their parents. Depending on how conflicts were being handled at home and a child’s coping abilities a number of negative feelings could be expressed towards parents (Oppawsky, 2000). One little girl recalled her situation “a terrifying time of loneliness” because she felt so much hatred to her parents she wanted nothing to do with them (Oppawsky, 2000). The biggest emotional response from children was fear. Being in the situation children did not know what was going to come from it. They feared the unknown, losing contact a parent, and worst of all they feared death (Oppawsky, 2000). Some children