I introspected plenty. It 's a habit I naturally commit myself too every time I walk. My thoughts ranged from my new friend Alecia to my "hatred" for Maximo (our spoiled brat poodle); who begged for my hamburger two nights ago. As I walked between the hospital and bowling alley, something hit me. I don 't remember how the thought started - wait…yes I did. Somewhat.
I thought of my "religious past". As I child, I was originally oblivious of religion. When we arrived to Abilene, Texas, I predictably (and instinctively initially) exposed myself to the "Christian" culture. It was not one I fully understood (nor do I still). I started to learn of Christianity - why people believed in it. For nearly three years, I would attend "FCA" meetings on Friday; where guest speakers would gather in the band hall and speak of their experiences. Whether to advertise their businesses (which they claimed their Christian faith as their biggest inspiration), give out moral lectures (of course), or sing songs/gospels (which always happened) - FCA meetings were fairly popular; although not everyone attended (nor were required to). Couch Bacon, a man as thin as a pencil, was apparently the "supervisor" for these meetings. And he lured people, or (more cynically) manipulated people (such as the formerly gullible, silly me); by offering doughnuts to those who promised to attend.
It was an impressive start to a potentially new path f...
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...never understood why the different faiths, nor could I ever fathom certain beliefs as the latter. How can God own us? What makes "Him" regulate our thought processes? Was it all a myth?
That is what I came to conclude. And I come to say now that, as a staunch individualist, the idea of "Godly" ownership is preposterous. To believe in a "celestial spirit" invisible to the human eye - "owning" us - was ridiculous, in my opinion. I also came to conclude, that I did not want something I could not see, as something I feared. Why fear my own Creator? Why fear the One, as many would deem Him, their own "protector?" That is what certain preachers advocate (and historically have), after all. I cannot grasp the concept of worrying over something one cannot feel or see. Although a religious person, they would say, might feel or see, how can they? Why them and not everyone else?
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